Oh, JD Vance—you spineless, opportunistic worm. Even MAGA cultists are abandoning you like rats fleeing a sinking ship, and that’s saying something, because they’ll usually swallow *any* slop from the Republican trough. But you? You’re the rare bottom-feeder too shameless even for them. Your entire political "career" is just a sad parade of bootlicking, flip-flopping, and transparent groveling—yet somehow, you still manage to be less relevant than a forgotten MySpace page.
Let’s be real: your "supporters" only tolerated you because they assumed you’d be a useful idiot, but now they’ve realized you’re just *the idiot* part. Your spine is so nonexistent, chiropractors weep at the sight of you. You’re a human weathervane spinning in a hurricane of your own inadequacy, and the only legacy you’ll leave is as a cautionary tale about what happens when a con artist forgets how to con.
Congrats, JD—you’ve officially achieved the impossible: *You made Republicans embarrassed to be Republicans.* And that takes a special kind of pathetic.