Dixie - In Memoriam
New member
I can't divulge where the following information came from, my source wishes to remain anonymous. It is an inside look at the mysterious and elusive world of Liberal Utopia, a sight not often seen by mainstream conservatives. In fact, most mainstreamers believe Liberal Utopia doesn't really exist, and is but a mythical place. According to my source, he assures me it is very real. After years of living underground in Liberal Utopia, he has finally come forward with the following expose. A fascinating peek into the unknown, the thought-to-be mythical world of Liberal Utopia!
Liberal Utopia is a shining and glorious land, where the weather is always perfect and temps are average year round. All the people have exactly the same everything, except they can paint their house any color they please, as long as it is a pastel. Everyone has a green garbage can for trash, and a blue can for recycles. everyone uses the blue cans more, because it helps maintain the perfect weather. Each 'family unit' has one electric car, that doesn't actually run on electricity, it runs on nothing, requires no fuel or maintenance and lasts forever. It is given to you by the Government.
The Government in Liberal Utopia, is the most important thing. It is there to provide everything to all people at all times. It ensures that all people have equal everything, and it also controls the capitalists. The capitalists in Liberal Utopia are nothing like the capitalists in the regular world, that's the most fascinating part. The Liberal Utopian capitalist is a barbarian slave used by the government. It doesn't have feelings or isn't considered to be human, it's just a beast of burden in Liberal Utopia. The Government controls these capitalists, and makes them do their thing, produce stuff... and then give it away to the masses. Whenever Liberal Utopians get bored, or discontent, the Liberal Utopian King will arrange a capitalist 'death match' to restore order.
The only "profits" in Liberal Utopia, are the ones enjoyed by the people, who share these equally, although none of them ever have to work. The capitalist slaves generate these profits, and the citizens of Liberal Utopia merely enjoy the perfect life. Free houses, free health care, free education and clothing... There are no taxes, again, no one has to work... that also takes care of unemployment. Food is plentiful in Liberal Utopia, it somehow magically appears in stores, and doesn't cost anyone a thing to buy, the use their card from the government and just get whatever they want at the store. Because of all this, there are no hungry or sick people in Liberal Utopia. Most everyone in Liberal Utopia spends their days stoned on pot and playing video games, because they have nothing else to do.... unless there is a capitalist death match.
The politics of Liberal Utopia are much less complicated than ours. They only have one party, the Liberal party. The politicians have a contest every so often, (determined by the people), where they try to see who can dream up the best way to blow another trillion dollars of capitalist wealth on the most bizarre thing. The winner is the candidate who comes up with the most outrageous thing. At the conclusion of the convention, they sacrifice a capitalist and genuflect toward a gold statue of Ted Kennedy. The winner is crowned King, given a laurel, and walks arm-in-arm with a civil rights leader, up to their throne. It's a really beautiful ceremony for Liberals.
The BEST part of Liberal Utopia, is the lack of consequences. We all know how pesky consequences of our actions can be, right? Well, in Liberal Utopia, you have none! That's right, as amazing as it sounds, for whatever reason... maybe it's because everyone is so happy and high? They don't have consequences! Whenever you do something, no matter how utterly boneheaded it is, there is a magic Liberal fairy who comes out and waves a magic wand and makes everyone believe that your mistake never happened. The fairy bears a strong resemblance to Tinkerbell.
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...more to come as this investigation continues!
Liberal Utopia is a shining and glorious land, where the weather is always perfect and temps are average year round. All the people have exactly the same everything, except they can paint their house any color they please, as long as it is a pastel. Everyone has a green garbage can for trash, and a blue can for recycles. everyone uses the blue cans more, because it helps maintain the perfect weather. Each 'family unit' has one electric car, that doesn't actually run on electricity, it runs on nothing, requires no fuel or maintenance and lasts forever. It is given to you by the Government.
The Government in Liberal Utopia, is the most important thing. It is there to provide everything to all people at all times. It ensures that all people have equal everything, and it also controls the capitalists. The capitalists in Liberal Utopia are nothing like the capitalists in the regular world, that's the most fascinating part. The Liberal Utopian capitalist is a barbarian slave used by the government. It doesn't have feelings or isn't considered to be human, it's just a beast of burden in Liberal Utopia. The Government controls these capitalists, and makes them do their thing, produce stuff... and then give it away to the masses. Whenever Liberal Utopians get bored, or discontent, the Liberal Utopian King will arrange a capitalist 'death match' to restore order.
The only "profits" in Liberal Utopia, are the ones enjoyed by the people, who share these equally, although none of them ever have to work. The capitalist slaves generate these profits, and the citizens of Liberal Utopia merely enjoy the perfect life. Free houses, free health care, free education and clothing... There are no taxes, again, no one has to work... that also takes care of unemployment. Food is plentiful in Liberal Utopia, it somehow magically appears in stores, and doesn't cost anyone a thing to buy, the use their card from the government and just get whatever they want at the store. Because of all this, there are no hungry or sick people in Liberal Utopia. Most everyone in Liberal Utopia spends their days stoned on pot and playing video games, because they have nothing else to do.... unless there is a capitalist death match.
The politics of Liberal Utopia are much less complicated than ours. They only have one party, the Liberal party. The politicians have a contest every so often, (determined by the people), where they try to see who can dream up the best way to blow another trillion dollars of capitalist wealth on the most bizarre thing. The winner is the candidate who comes up with the most outrageous thing. At the conclusion of the convention, they sacrifice a capitalist and genuflect toward a gold statue of Ted Kennedy. The winner is crowned King, given a laurel, and walks arm-in-arm with a civil rights leader, up to their throne. It's a really beautiful ceremony for Liberals.
The BEST part of Liberal Utopia, is the lack of consequences. We all know how pesky consequences of our actions can be, right? Well, in Liberal Utopia, you have none! That's right, as amazing as it sounds, for whatever reason... maybe it's because everyone is so happy and high? They don't have consequences! Whenever you do something, no matter how utterly boneheaded it is, there is a magic Liberal fairy who comes out and waves a magic wand and makes everyone believe that your mistake never happened. The fairy bears a strong resemblance to Tinkerbell.
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...more to come as this investigation continues!