The Newly Minted “I Never Supported Bush!” Republican
In the annals of American political history, there perhaps has never been a more tragic figure than that of the former Bush voter. Now, newly minted as the “independent conservative”; one who vainly insists to have never really supported or defended George W. Bush.
Increasingly, we see the despondent image of the former Bush voter kneeling by their pick up truck, under cover of darkness, to scrape off that last “Bush/Cheney!” bumper sticker affixed to their vehicle.
The forlorn image of the former Bush voter removing Dubya bumper stickers is sadly juxtaposed against melancholy images from happier days. Better days, when Dubya was going to smoke out the evil doers. When Dubya, straight-talkin’ and dressed in his tight and sexy blue jeans, was bound by history to be the next Abraham Lincoln. Looking down the street, the former Bush voter notes that his neighbor – who goes by the nickname Dixie - is the last person on the street to have Bush bumper stickers festooned all over his pickup. Good old Dixie. Bittersweet images of attending pro-war rallies with Dixie sift through the mind of the former Bush voter. He wonders if Dixie still has that photo of George Bush, strutting in cod piece glory, prominently displayed in his trailer home.
Even tales of liberal hypocrisy on the Rush Limbaugh show, and stories of how the WMD were moved to Syria no longer allay that dark kernel forming in mind’s eye of the former Bush voter. Was Gore right about Bush’s fuzzy math? Is it possible that crazy-assed, global warming liberal fool knew what he was talking about?
Were Nancy Pelosi and Howard Dean uncannily prescient in warning that invading Iraq was unnecessary, indeed a dangerous fool’s errand?
Was throwing that beer can at those dirty hippies who were protesting the invasion of Iraq, really warranted and necessary?
Could a God-fearing, brush-clearin’ Texan – a guy you’d buy a beer for at the local ice house – have possibly exaggerated and misled us on the threat from Iraq?
These are questions that that nag at the former Bush voter, as he fills up the gas tank and watches the pump register yet another 100 dollar transaction. Vaguely and dimly aware that somehow, instability and war in the Middle East, and the plummeting value of the dollar, is somehow robbing him of his disposable income. Disposable income he would normally spend on a few cases of Budweiser, a night at the tractor pull races, or on a romantic date at the bowling alley with that sexy female cousin of his.
Surely, things would have been worse if Al Gore were president he tries to convince himself.
And yes, the despondent or angry former Bush voter is almost always a “he”. He might drive a pickup, or a BMW depending on his socio-economic status. He might own a shotgun, and he definitely stays up nights worrying about whether his neighbor’s teenage daughter might get pregnant and might try to murder (aka abort) the embryo. He might be happily married, or he might be toe tapping in men’s public bathrooms – or maybe both. But, in virtually every case he’s white, rightwing, Christian, nationalist, and male. Even the female Bush voters often appears to be quite male-like in appearance and attitude (see for reference, Ann Coulter and Meme): characterized by an overtly testosterone-driven lust for war, violence, and retribution; mixed in with a little xenophobia, callous disregard for those less fortunate, and a predisposition towards wanting to bully other countries and allies around the world. The most base emotions commonly associated with our primitive and violent primate ancestors.
The former Bush voter now tries to avoid talking politics or war with Democratic co-workers. When small talk turns to the war in Iraq or the economy, the former Bush voter notes that Bush may have made some mistakes, but things would have been worse with Gore or Kerry. And anyway, war with Iraq was inevitable. Saddam was thumbing his nose at us, and everyone thought he had WMD. No one could have stopped the war.
He insists that his vote for Bush was necessary, and was explicitly predicated on stopping socialism. But he is careful to note, that he would have gladly voted Democratic. If only Democrats had nominated Zell Miller, he wouldn’t have been forced against his will to vote for Bush. Now, incredibly, the Democrats have lost his vote AGAIN, and nominated that self-confessed radical black muslim marxist, Barack Hussein Obama. So once again the Democrats have forced him to vote Republican – for George Bush’s protégé, John McCain. And so, as he downs the backwash from his ninth Budweiser of the evening, and logs off youtube porn, the former Bush voter takes cold comfort in knowing that, at a bare minimum, he is once again making a stand in the never ending fight to stop liberal hippy socialism.
In the annals of American political history, there perhaps has never been a more tragic figure than that of the former Bush voter. Now, newly minted as the “independent conservative”; one who vainly insists to have never really supported or defended George W. Bush.
Increasingly, we see the despondent image of the former Bush voter kneeling by their pick up truck, under cover of darkness, to scrape off that last “Bush/Cheney!” bumper sticker affixed to their vehicle.
The forlorn image of the former Bush voter removing Dubya bumper stickers is sadly juxtaposed against melancholy images from happier days. Better days, when Dubya was going to smoke out the evil doers. When Dubya, straight-talkin’ and dressed in his tight and sexy blue jeans, was bound by history to be the next Abraham Lincoln. Looking down the street, the former Bush voter notes that his neighbor – who goes by the nickname Dixie - is the last person on the street to have Bush bumper stickers festooned all over his pickup. Good old Dixie. Bittersweet images of attending pro-war rallies with Dixie sift through the mind of the former Bush voter. He wonders if Dixie still has that photo of George Bush, strutting in cod piece glory, prominently displayed in his trailer home.
Even tales of liberal hypocrisy on the Rush Limbaugh show, and stories of how the WMD were moved to Syria no longer allay that dark kernel forming in mind’s eye of the former Bush voter. Was Gore right about Bush’s fuzzy math? Is it possible that crazy-assed, global warming liberal fool knew what he was talking about?
Were Nancy Pelosi and Howard Dean uncannily prescient in warning that invading Iraq was unnecessary, indeed a dangerous fool’s errand?
Was throwing that beer can at those dirty hippies who were protesting the invasion of Iraq, really warranted and necessary?
Could a God-fearing, brush-clearin’ Texan – a guy you’d buy a beer for at the local ice house – have possibly exaggerated and misled us on the threat from Iraq?
These are questions that that nag at the former Bush voter, as he fills up the gas tank and watches the pump register yet another 100 dollar transaction. Vaguely and dimly aware that somehow, instability and war in the Middle East, and the plummeting value of the dollar, is somehow robbing him of his disposable income. Disposable income he would normally spend on a few cases of Budweiser, a night at the tractor pull races, or on a romantic date at the bowling alley with that sexy female cousin of his.
Surely, things would have been worse if Al Gore were president he tries to convince himself.
And yes, the despondent or angry former Bush voter is almost always a “he”. He might drive a pickup, or a BMW depending on his socio-economic status. He might own a shotgun, and he definitely stays up nights worrying about whether his neighbor’s teenage daughter might get pregnant and might try to murder (aka abort) the embryo. He might be happily married, or he might be toe tapping in men’s public bathrooms – or maybe both. But, in virtually every case he’s white, rightwing, Christian, nationalist, and male. Even the female Bush voters often appears to be quite male-like in appearance and attitude (see for reference, Ann Coulter and Meme): characterized by an overtly testosterone-driven lust for war, violence, and retribution; mixed in with a little xenophobia, callous disregard for those less fortunate, and a predisposition towards wanting to bully other countries and allies around the world. The most base emotions commonly associated with our primitive and violent primate ancestors.
The former Bush voter now tries to avoid talking politics or war with Democratic co-workers. When small talk turns to the war in Iraq or the economy, the former Bush voter notes that Bush may have made some mistakes, but things would have been worse with Gore or Kerry. And anyway, war with Iraq was inevitable. Saddam was thumbing his nose at us, and everyone thought he had WMD. No one could have stopped the war.
He insists that his vote for Bush was necessary, and was explicitly predicated on stopping socialism. But he is careful to note, that he would have gladly voted Democratic. If only Democrats had nominated Zell Miller, he wouldn’t have been forced against his will to vote for Bush. Now, incredibly, the Democrats have lost his vote AGAIN, and nominated that self-confessed radical black muslim marxist, Barack Hussein Obama. So once again the Democrats have forced him to vote Republican – for George Bush’s protégé, John McCain. And so, as he downs the backwash from his ninth Budweiser of the evening, and logs off youtube porn, the former Bush voter takes cold comfort in knowing that, at a bare minimum, he is once again making a stand in the never ending fight to stop liberal hippy socialism.
