KingCondanomation
New member
Here is that rare thread that both Conservatives and Liberals can get a good laugh in, based on the dynamic Dano's amazing observational abilities:
"Both Parties are the Same Guy" - Both Parties are the Same Guy swears that every last Democrat or Republican came out of a duplication machine and are all the same politician down to a fault. Even if you present them with voting records that show complete opposite records, "Both Parties are the Same Guy" will swear to God they are still all the same.
"Media Savvy Guy" - Media Savvy Guy repeats the buzzwords in the media and popular things people are saying about candidates and I suppose somehow votes along the lines of which looks more the in person to vote.
"Time for Change Simpleton" - Time for change simpleton is pretty, well, simple, he just "feels" it's time for someone new and almost always from the opposite party, no matter how batshit crazy they are.
"Mr Presidential" - Mr Presidential votes for whoever seems and looks more presidential. Stiff as a board? You get his nod in the booth.
"Joe SixPack" - Joe Sixpack votes for whoever sounds more real, you know the guy you'd have a drink with. Deep down believes all politicians are crooks.
"Not as bad guy" - Not as bad guy votes for whichever party or person he thinks is not as bad as the other one. Surprisingly stubborn.
"Irrelevancy Girl" - The lady who votes based on irrelevant stuff, often cutesy silliness. Like what the first lady's fashion tastes are or remember how when a prez gets a new pet? That actually matters to Irrelevancy Girl's vote.
"Swears he's Really a Moderate Guy" - Swears he's really a moderate guy is possibly a real moderate but all he does is seem to bash one side and if pressed will defend like "Both Parties are the Same Guy", but he's faking it.
"With my friend girl" - With my friend girl is not really interested in politics, but for whatever reason winds up in line on voting day with her friend who is. May vote for the opposite of her friend just to make for interesting banter afterwards.
"Conspiracy Cynic" - Conspiracy cynic hates both parties a lot and believes only the negative about them. With their obsession in politics, what the hell they do in a voting booth is beyond me, probably talk out loud and vote the lesser of 2 insidious evils.
"Mrs. Include Everyone" - Mrs Include Everyone is uncomfortable with debate in general and mostly tries to seek out some happy compromise between 2 opposing sides where both sides must always have a point, no matter how insane one side is.
"Wants it Both Ways Guy" - Wants it Both Ways Guy likes to bitch about taxes being too high but government not doing enough, the dumbass will go his entire life without ever realizing that his taxes are higher BECAUSE government is already doing too much.
"Nice Little Nobody" - Nice Little Nobody offers his/her very safe vague one line opinion in the occasional squeak of a post. Is terrified of being verbally attacked.
"Mr. Open Minded" - Mr Open Minded is completely unaware of any political history, will entertain any idea and refuse to dismiss anything outright.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the people that will be deciding your elections!
By the way if you are a moderate and on this list or accused of being on it, know that I still prefer you to any Liberals.
"Both Parties are the Same Guy" - Both Parties are the Same Guy swears that every last Democrat or Republican came out of a duplication machine and are all the same politician down to a fault. Even if you present them with voting records that show complete opposite records, "Both Parties are the Same Guy" will swear to God they are still all the same.
"Media Savvy Guy" - Media Savvy Guy repeats the buzzwords in the media and popular things people are saying about candidates and I suppose somehow votes along the lines of which looks more the in person to vote.
"Time for Change Simpleton" - Time for change simpleton is pretty, well, simple, he just "feels" it's time for someone new and almost always from the opposite party, no matter how batshit crazy they are.
"Mr Presidential" - Mr Presidential votes for whoever seems and looks more presidential. Stiff as a board? You get his nod in the booth.
"Joe SixPack" - Joe Sixpack votes for whoever sounds more real, you know the guy you'd have a drink with. Deep down believes all politicians are crooks.
"Not as bad guy" - Not as bad guy votes for whichever party or person he thinks is not as bad as the other one. Surprisingly stubborn.
"Irrelevancy Girl" - The lady who votes based on irrelevant stuff, often cutesy silliness. Like what the first lady's fashion tastes are or remember how when a prez gets a new pet? That actually matters to Irrelevancy Girl's vote.
"Swears he's Really a Moderate Guy" - Swears he's really a moderate guy is possibly a real moderate but all he does is seem to bash one side and if pressed will defend like "Both Parties are the Same Guy", but he's faking it.
"With my friend girl" - With my friend girl is not really interested in politics, but for whatever reason winds up in line on voting day with her friend who is. May vote for the opposite of her friend just to make for interesting banter afterwards.
"Conspiracy Cynic" - Conspiracy cynic hates both parties a lot and believes only the negative about them. With their obsession in politics, what the hell they do in a voting booth is beyond me, probably talk out loud and vote the lesser of 2 insidious evils.
"Mrs. Include Everyone" - Mrs Include Everyone is uncomfortable with debate in general and mostly tries to seek out some happy compromise between 2 opposing sides where both sides must always have a point, no matter how insane one side is.
"Wants it Both Ways Guy" - Wants it Both Ways Guy likes to bitch about taxes being too high but government not doing enough, the dumbass will go his entire life without ever realizing that his taxes are higher BECAUSE government is already doing too much.
"Nice Little Nobody" - Nice Little Nobody offers his/her very safe vague one line opinion in the occasional squeak of a post. Is terrified of being verbally attacked.
"Mr. Open Minded" - Mr Open Minded is completely unaware of any political history, will entertain any idea and refuse to dismiss anything outright.
Ladies and Gentlemen, the people that will be deciding your elections!
By the way if you are a moderate and on this list or accused of being on it, know that I still prefer you to any Liberals.
