1lbs of maple sausage and 8 large eggs

[/MSG/]

What a lunch. Now excuse me while I destroy my toilet.

 

[DamnYankee]

That would probably constipate you more than anything.

I've been eating more veggies than anything lately. The other day I crapped so much the pile broke the surface of the water.

 

[/MSG/]

Eggs never constipate me, always seem to go right through me. Same with the sausage. Spinach is the only veggie to really clean me out.

 

[Mott the Hoople]

What a lunch. Now excuse me while I destroy my toilet.

Jesus dude, all's you need to do is drink a gallon of beer and a quart of sour kraut and we can add you the the NPL and declare you a superfund site!

 

[/MSG/]

A gallon of beer? Pffft I've done better. What's NPL?

 

[FUCK THE POLICE]

Maple sausage?

 

[/MSG/]

Maple sausage?

Sausage with maple sugar in it. Delicious.

 

[Mott the Hoople]

A gallon of beer? Pffft I've done better. What's NPL?

National Priority List for Emergency Remediation.

 

[/MSG/]

National Priority List for Emergency Remediation.

Ha! I've done better than this. Try 3 lbs of crawdads in one sitting, with a fifth of Captain Morgan mixed with a 2lt of Vernors.

 

[Damocles]

Jesus dude, all's you need to do is drink a gallon of beer and a quart of sour kraut and we can add you the the NPL and declare you a superfund site!

don't forget the popcorn... then we can have him classified as a weapon of mass destruction.

 

[/MSG/]

don't forget the popcorn... then we can have him classified as a weapon of mass destruction.

Or all you can eat seafood/Mongolian BBQ.

 

[DamnYankee]

Eggs never constipate me, always seem to go right through me. Same with the sausage. Spinach is the only veggie to really clean me out.

Try eating a lot of spinach. You'll shit green.

 

[/MSG/]

Try eating a lot of spinach. You'll shit green.

And if you drink A LOT of pina coladas you'll shit white.

 

[DamnYankee]

And if you drink A LOT of pina coladas you'll shit white.

I can't stand a wussie drink like that.

Eat a lot of fresh beets and you'll piss red. The first time I did that I thought I was dying. Then you'll shit red, which will look black, but turn the toilet water red.

 

[/MSG/]

I can't stand a wussie drink like that.

Eat a lot of fresh beets and you'll piss red. The first time I did that I thought I was dying. Then you'll shit red, which will look black, but turn the toilet water red.

Try drinking a quart of red food coloring the morning before a piss test at work. Or blue food coloring if you REALLY want to turn heads.

 

[DamnYankee]

Try drinking a quart of red food coloring the morning before a piss test at work. Or blue food coloring if you REALLY want to turn heads.

LOL That's not natural.

 

[/MSG/]

LOL That's not natural.

No but it sure is fun when you hand in a cup of blue piss. They had NO IDEA what to do with me.

 

[DamnYankee]

No but it sure is fun when you hand in a cup of blue piss. They had NO IDEA what to do with me.

If it was me they'd say I was doing drugs.

 

[/MSG/]

If it was me they'd say I was doing drugs.

They eventually found out. 50% thought I was hilarious. The other half thought I was 'immature'. Unfortunately the 50% that didn't like it was officers.

 

[Damocles]

They eventually found out. 50% thought I was hilarious. The other half thought I was 'immature'. Unfortunately the 50% that didn't like it was officers.

Well, their handbook does say the enlisted man is "crafty"... They should have just suspected it.