Biscuits

Damocles

Accedo!
Staff member
Sometimes reality is funnier than jokes...

"KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER"
(the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws
and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some
groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with
the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands
behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned
and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now
open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay,
and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had
been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the
doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her
head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of
bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a
loud noise that sounded like a gun shot, and the wad of dough hit
her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what
it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She
initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her
brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her
aid..

Linda is a blonde and a Democrat, but I'm certain that's irrelevant
 
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