LOL...I completely understand. Before you order a bunch from Amazon check to see if one of your local markets or co-ops carries bulk spices...Ours does...wasn't sure if they had the horseradish and worcestershire powders but they do... good quality tomato juice, about 4 cups, some pieces of cooked bacon, about a 1/4 cup lemon juice, a couple of tablespoons of worcestershire sauce, some adobo sauce from canned chipotles (or your favorite hot sauce, fresh grated horseradish...4 tablespoons, or so.... celery salt, a teaspoon or two, regular coarse salt and cracked black (lemon) pepper to taste,cayenne and a little ground ginger (or fresh)
I also add some good quality olives and a little juice, if I have them..
just blend it up and let the steaks go for at least 12 hours...even overnight. Pat dry before you grill or really hot cast iron...