BMW drivers

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In a bid to make motoring more inclusive to BMW drivers town and country planners are looking at ways to improve car parks with them in mind. "BMW drivers can feel looked down on because they simply don't posses the skills needed to park in a conventional space" said spokesperson Amanda Parkins.

She goes on to say:-

"When they end up not straight with one or more wheels over one or more lines they can feel inadequate and in these days of inclusivity we must remember BMW drivers have feelings too. Our new guidelines are being trialled at a supermarket in Derby and feature extra wide centre lanes so the BMW driver can do the 'swing in at high speed forwards' manoeuvre in comparative safety and we've angled some of the bays to reduce the need to turn the steering wheel more than is absolutely necessary to reduce the risk of acrylic nail fatigue. The ends of the BMW bays have a choice of stop lines - a feature we thinks give them a better chance of actually ending up at one of them - my daughter Emily (aged 6) thought of this idea and we are pleased to include it in our proposal"

Warming to the task Ms Parkins who drives a Ford Mondeo continues:-

"We also took the needs of pedestrians into account with our design and in recognition of the fact BMW drivers do not understand what pedestrian crossings are we've removed them from the BMW parking zone - relying on the pedestrians ability to look up from their phones whilst walking in car parks and take note of approaching beamers."

If successful it is hoped to roll the scheme out to other car parks as they become due for re-lining.

We did ask a BMW dealer what they felt about this scheme - however they refused to give any indication - a result we really should have anticipated I guess.
 
I've posted this before but it bears repeating here.

Most feared drivers.

#5. Teenagers driving anything. "Hey everyone watch this!"
#4. Rednecks in pickup trucks. "Yeeehaaw!"
#3. Moms in minivans. Because getting little precious to soccer practice is more important than your life.
#2. Old men in luxury cars. If you were a better human being you would be driving a luxury car like them. Their car is more important than your life.

and the most feared driver out there is.......

#1 BWM drivers. BMW's, they are built by Nazi's and driven by assholes. A coincidence? I think not! :)
 
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Borboletta said:
940921_891626994283640_3216718337917525065_n.jpg


In a bid to make motoring more inclusive to BMW drivers town and country planners are looking at ways to improve car parks with them in mind. "BMW drivers can feel looked down on because they simply don't posses the skills needed to park in a conventional space" said spokesperson Amanda Parkins.

She goes on to say:-

"When they end up not straight with one or more wheels over one or more lines they can feel inadequate and in these days of inclusivity we must remember BMW drivers have feelings too. Our new guidelines are being trialled at a supermarket in Derby and feature extra wide centre lanes so the BMW driver can do the 'swing in at high speed forwards' manoeuvre in comparative safety and we've angled some of the bays to reduce the need to turn the steering wheel more than is absolutely necessary to reduce the risk of acrylic nail fatigue. The ends of the BMW bays have a choice of stop lines - a feature we thinks give them a better chance of actually ending up at one of them - my daughter Emily (aged 6) thought of this idea and we are pleased to include it in our proposal"

Warming to the task Ms Parkins who drives a Ford Mondeo continues:-

"We also took the needs of pedestrians into account with our design and in recognition of the fact BMW drivers do not understand what pedestrian crossings are we've removed them from the BMW parking zone - relying on the pedestrians ability to look up from their phones whilst walking in car parks and take note of approaching beamers."

If successful it is hoped to roll the scheme out to other car parks as they become due for re-lining.

We did ask a BMW dealer what they felt about this scheme - however they refused to give any indication - a result we really should have anticipated I guess.
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Tom....you finally did it. You posted a quality humorous article. Even Grind might give this a "meh".
 
We have these assholes at work with high end cars who like to take up two parking spots so no one will park next to their precious car. It doesn't work. Either the guys with monster trucks drive over the berm to park next to them or people like me with little four bangers just park so close to their car that they would have to be 3 inches wide to get into their car.
 
Rune said:
If not I am sure I would do until USAFreafdumb shows up.
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Poor - poor Runela.

Couldn't debate. :palm:
Couldn't back up his FEELINGS, with facts. :palm:
Couldn't keep Darla satisfied happy. :palm:
Got booted from APP. :palm:

But he does claim the homosexual rapist Viking history, not that there's anything wrong with that.

So Sad
Too Bad.

:chesh:
 
USFREEDOM911 said:
Poor - poor Runela.

Couldn't debate. :palm:
Couldn't back up his FEELINGS, with facts. :palm:
Couldn't keep Darla satisfied happy. :palm:
Got booted from APP. :palm:

But he does claim the homosexual rapist Viking history, not that there's anything wrong with that.

So Sad
Too Bad.

:chesh:
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I've never seen anyone so wrapped up in gossipy invented minutia.

You are retarded Ma'am.
 
Leonthecat said:
I was being polite Ma'am.
Has anyone ever told you that in your avatar you look just like Meryl Streep?
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So our avatars are supposed to look like the RL use, Bucky??

Because in that case, you look like a really big pussy. :D
<I was waiting on that one and as anticipated, Bucky provided the opportunity>
 
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