Dixie - In Memoriam
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In an attempt to keep the public informed about the risks of pinhead exposure, the Center for Dix-ease Control has issued the following guidelines, regarding this most dangerous disorder. Level 1 and 2 Pinheadedness is on the rise, according to poll data, and an epidemic is predicted between now and Tuesday. Please try to avoid contact with anyone who displays symptoms, it is highly contagious.
Level 1 Pinhead:
These are people most atypical of being a pinhead. Many of them live relatively normal lives and maintain an appearance of good overall rationality. They simply have the tendency to get caught up in their own ideology, and rationalize taking a pinhead stance on an issue or two. Bill O'Reilly fits into this category at times, ironically enough. This level of pinheadedness seems to transcend political ideology, which conflicts with the 'liberal gene' theory of why people are pinheads.
Level 2 Pinhead:
These are also known as mainstream democrats, yellow dog democrats, dyed-in-the-wool democrats, and life-long democrat supporters. A very loyal, but uninformed group, these pinheads seem to thrive off of each other's rhetoric, and are easily manipulated by Hollywood and the media, as well as any shiny objects. They are marginally educated, and limited on their perspectives, often able to only focus on single issues at a time, and a lack of understanding in anything of dynamic dimensionals.
Level 3 Pinhead:
This is the most dangerous and irretrievable condition of pinheadedness. These are the intellectual liberal cultural elite. The pointy-headed liberal professors, who have deemed themselves more intelligent than the rest of us morons, because of their diplomas and tenure. Once the mental disorder has spread to this extent, there is no cure. These pinheads will never believe anyone is smarter than them, and our existence in life, revolves around some book they read by a socialist at one time.
Level 1 Pinhead:
These are people most atypical of being a pinhead. Many of them live relatively normal lives and maintain an appearance of good overall rationality. They simply have the tendency to get caught up in their own ideology, and rationalize taking a pinhead stance on an issue or two. Bill O'Reilly fits into this category at times, ironically enough. This level of pinheadedness seems to transcend political ideology, which conflicts with the 'liberal gene' theory of why people are pinheads.
Level 2 Pinhead:
These are also known as mainstream democrats, yellow dog democrats, dyed-in-the-wool democrats, and life-long democrat supporters. A very loyal, but uninformed group, these pinheads seem to thrive off of each other's rhetoric, and are easily manipulated by Hollywood and the media, as well as any shiny objects. They are marginally educated, and limited on their perspectives, often able to only focus on single issues at a time, and a lack of understanding in anything of dynamic dimensionals.
Level 3 Pinhead:
This is the most dangerous and irretrievable condition of pinheadedness. These are the intellectual liberal cultural elite. The pointy-headed liberal professors, who have deemed themselves more intelligent than the rest of us morons, because of their diplomas and tenure. Once the mental disorder has spread to this extent, there is no cure. These pinheads will never believe anyone is smarter than them, and our existence in life, revolves around some book they read by a socialist at one time.
