Congress To Retroactively Impeach All Previous Republican Presidents

The Anonymous

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WASHINGTON, D.C.—Congress has announced plans to retroactively impeach all previous Republican presidents.

Said Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, "It's what the American people want."

Abraham Lincoln's impeachment trial is expected to start Monday.

Following his impeachment trial, Ulysses S. Grant's impeachment will begin.

Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, and Harrison will follow within a few months; then, McKinley, Roosevelt, Taft, and Harding.

Calvin Coolidge's trial is expected to be absolutely electric, while Hoover's and Eisenhower's will be riveting, according to sources within the House.

Then, Nixon will be impeached twice, with Ford, Reagan, Bush, and Bush to follow.

Finally, Trump will be impeached a third time, a process Chuck Schumer calls "an important procedure that will accomplish much for the American people."


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