Crap

[USFREEDOM911]

Ole was walking home late at night, through the park and sees a woman in the shadows.

"Twenty dollars" she whispers.

He'd never been with a hooker before, but decides, what the hell, it's only twenty bucks.

So they hide in the bushes. They're going "at it" for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them-- it's a police officer.

"What's going on here, people?" asks the officer.

"I'm making luff to my vife," Ole answers indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry." says the cop. "I didn't know."

"Vell," says Ole, "I din't neder, 'til you shine dat light in her face!

 

[WinterBorn]

A man is pissed at his wife because she had overdrawn their checking account again. He threatens to put her out on the corner to make some money for a change but that she wouldn't make much.

She gets pissed and says "I'll show you" and storms out. He doesn't see her for 3 days.

When she returns she drops $410.25 on the table and tells him she made it working the corner.

He asks "What cheap bastard only paid twenty-five cents?" She smiles at him and says "All of'em."