Dano in 2006 - Political Nostradamus?

[KingCondanomation]

I dug up something I wrote tongue-in-cheek as a pretend Liberal Democrat back in 2006, I failed at number 1 and number 4 (so far), but the rest is good.

I don't think I'm some Nostradamus, just more pissed that so many (mostly moderates and Libertarians) couldn't see what was coming when they kept on with their both parties being the same bullshit or worse thinking Obama was going to somehow be more fiscally responsible than Bush (who I am NOT praising here!).

Anyway here it is:

Ok fellow Libs and Dems, this nation is full of problems, so here's how we're gonna fix 'em.

1. Terrorism
Problem: Bush went into Iraq which had no terrorists and he lets terrorists go.
Solution: We must grant more rights to those in Guantanamo, it's unfair that they have had no trial. Also, as we all know 15 out of 19 terrorists from Sep 11, came from Saudi Arabia, so as revenge we will invade/bomb the country where they were born - that'll teach 'em. Oh yes and the Saudis don't let women drive! That's much worse than some dictator who has in the past gassed kids.
Oh yes and war in Iran needed, they have the real WMD.
With this plan terrorism will soon be a thing of the past.

2. Jobs
Problem: Unemployment not as good as in the 90's. Too many businesses going overseas.
Solution: Increase taxes on the rich and corporations, reinstate regulations Bush cut and of course add more new regulations.
These actions should help reattract job-creating business and investment.

3. Deficit Too High
Problem: The deficit has gone up by large amounts because of too much spending.
Solution: We only spend a tiny 650 billion on Medicare and Medicaid, we need healthcare for all, so institute trillion dollar universal healthcare program. Also make college free for everyone. Restore student aid funding, restore funding to states, hell restore all cuts, cuts are wrong. Also, invest more in alternative energy, more generous unemployment insurance, daycare help and lots more.
We will pay for all this and cutting the deficit by stopping the 80$ billion a year Iraq war. Make sense?

4. Gun Crime
Problem: Under Bush assault weapons are legal again.
Solution: Ban those guns again; by banning them that should keep criminals with criminal records from walking into stores and buying them legally. Instead they will have to get them off the street. HAHA good luck finding them there guys!

5. Government Corruption
Problem: Too many corrupt Republicans.
Solution: No change needed for us. We don't need legal tax cuts and legal regulation reductions to attract donations from business. Instead they will just keep giving us cash, just because they like what we do, no special favors needed to be given in return, no of course not.

With this plan we can turn around our country! Vote Dem in 2006!

 

[Socrtease]

Wow if you were double jointed, I bet you would blow yourself.

 

[FUCK THE POLICE]

2. What taxes were raised on corporations and the rich? And who seriously attached taxes on corporations and the rich to "job creation"? It's just a dumb strawman.

3. Except the Dem healthcare plan is essentially a bunch of Republican ideas that cost about 80 billion a year. Single payer wouldn't have cost a trillion a year. And there's been no elimination college tuition, no childcare, etc... etc... and, again, who seriously tied such an agenda to "deficit reduction"? Another silly strawman.

5. Of course. If someone gives me money, I'll keep giving them money so they'll keep giving me money. What's wrong with that? I don't see the problem.