Democrat Platform - Americans With No Abilities Act

C

canceled.2021.1

#AMERICAISDEAD
http://www.political-humor.org/americans-with-no-abilities-act.shtml


Washington , DC – Congressional Democrats are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

‘Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,’ said California Senator Barbara Boxer. ‘We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.’

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D) pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.

Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement ‘warehouse’ stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

Under The Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million ‘middle man’ positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, ‘Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?’

‘As a Non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,’ said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan , due to her inability to remember ‘rightey tightey, lefty loosey.’ ‘This new law should be real good for people like me,’ Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): ‘As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so. ”

Americans With No Abilities Act
 
Leave it to the cons to mock the American Disabilities Act, by twisting it into a condemnation of liberals. Nice parody from 2013 when Nancy and Harry were majority congressional leaders. A bit dated, but better than most conservative humor.

Problem is, this little ditty assumes that most Americans are lazy twits. If that is really how you see your fellow citizens, then exactly why are you proud to be an American? Why do you not celebrate our diversity, our innovation, and the American dream? Our founders were immigrants. The builders of our infrastructure, our economy, and our technology were hard working immigrants. That creativity and production came from the people, not the powerful. The powerful were concerned with maintaining their own affluence, often by monopolization, instead of innovation. An equal playing field, protection of a healthy environment, and the rights of the common man has fallen to the government, since the corporate 'bottom line' has little interest in those trivialities.

My bottom line is that the American Disabilities Act, is not a fair object of mockery. It it not about giving a free slice of the American pie to people who don't deserve it, as your parody implies. It is about allowing innovative people with physical handicaps a chance at the American dream. We all advance when we cooperate. We all stagnate when we are too busy pushing others down.
 
mogur said:
Leave it to the cons to mock the American Disabilities Act, by twisting it into a condemnation of liberals. Nice parody from 2013 when Nancy and Harry were majority congressional leaders. A bit dated, but better than most conservative humor.

Problem is, this little ditty assumes that most Americans are lazy twits. If that is really how you see your fellow citizens, then exactly why are you proud to be an American? Why do you not celebrate our diversity, our innovation, and the American dream? Our founders were immigrants. The builders of our infrastructure, our economy, and our technology were hard working immigrants. That creativity and production came from the people, not the powerful. The powerful were concerned with maintaining their own affluence, often by monopolization, instead of innovation. An equal playing field, protection of a healthy environment, and the rights of the common man has fallen to the government, since the corporate 'bottom line' has little interest in those trivialities.

My bottom line is that the American Disabilities Act, is not a fair object of mockery. It it not about giving a free slice of the American pie to people who don't deserve it, as your parody implies. It is about allowing innovative people with physical handicaps a chance at the American dream. We all advance when we cooperate. We all stagnate when we are too busy pushing others down.
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lol dude.....they aren't mocking the American Disabilities Act, they're mocking the asinine liberals......
 
mogur said:
Leave it to the cons to mock the American Disabilities Act, by twisting it into a condemnation of liberals. Nice parody from 2013 when Nancy and Harry were majority congressional leaders. A bit dated, but better than most conservative humor.

Problem is, this little ditty assumes that most Americans are lazy twits. If that is really how you see your fellow citizens, then exactly why are you proud to be an American? Why do you not celebrate our diversity, our innovation, and the American dream? Our founders were immigrants. The builders of our infrastructure, our economy, and our technology were hard working immigrants. That creativity and production came from the people, not the powerful. The powerful were concerned with maintaining their own affluence, often by monopolization, instead of innovation. An equal playing field, protection of a healthy environment, and the rights of the common man has fallen to the government, since the corporate 'bottom line' has little interest in those trivialities.

My bottom line is that the American Disabilities Act, is not a fair object of mockery. It it not about giving a free slice of the American pie to people who don't deserve it, as your parody implies. It is about allowing innovative people with physical handicaps a chance at the American dream. We all advance when we cooperate. We all stagnate when we are too busy pushing others down.
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Damn another addition to my thread ban snuck by

Humorless liberal
 
PostmodernProphet said:
lol dude.....they aren't mocking the American Disabilities Act, they're mocking the asinine liberals......
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Leave it to the cons to mock the American Disabilities Act, by twisting it into a condemnation of liberals. ...
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Good catch. Thanks for enlightening this poor, feeble liberal mind. A mind that so foolishly started a post by explaining exactly how the ADA was being mocked, and then stating exactly what you so cleverly pointed out that I missed. I wish I had your power of perception. I am envious of your wonderful ability to perceive all people that agree with your views in such a warm, humorous, and loving way. And all others with such scathing disdain. Warms my cockles.
 
mogur said:
Good catch. Thanks for enlightening this poor, feeble liberal mind. A mind that so foolishly started a post by explaining exactly how the ADA was being mocked, and then stating exactly what you so cleverly pointed out that I missed. I wish I had your power of perception. I am envious of your wonderful ability to perceive all people that agree with your views in such a warm, humorous, and loving way. And all others with such scathing disdain. Warms my cockles.
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Good grief, are you related to Darcula?
 
I Love America said:
http://www.political-humor.org/americans-with-no-abilities-act.shtml


Washington , DC – Congressional Democrats are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

‘Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,’ said California Senator Barbara Boxer. ‘We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.’

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D) and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D) pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.

Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement ‘warehouse’ stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

Under The Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million ‘middle man’ positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, ‘Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?’

‘As a Non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,’ said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan , due to her inability to remember ‘rightey tightey, lefty loosey.’ ‘This new law should be real good for people like me,’ Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Dick Durbin (D-IL): ‘As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so. ”

Americans With No Abilities Act
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you joke but this actually reads like something the democrats would pass
 
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