Divorce (Scottish style)

cancel2 2022

Canceled
A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says,“I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”

‘Dad, what are you talking about?’ the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says.

“We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they’re getting divorced!” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!”

She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. ‘Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way.’
 
Much nicer outcome than the Italian style, although, they better have top-shelf libations on hand for Christmas, if they want their kids to feel at home!
 
A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says,“I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.”

‘Dad, what are you talking about?’ the son screams.

“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer” the father says.

“We’re sick of each other and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”

Frantically, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like hell they’re getting divorced!” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!”

She calls Scotland immediately, and screams at her father “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. ‘Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way.’

Clever trick, but it will only work once.
 
Hey, Tom, check out this Johnny Carson interview with Michael Caine. Fast-forward to 11:30, because Caine makes an hilarious remark about the state of England:

 
Hey, Tom, check out this Johnny Carson interview with Michael Caine. Fast-forward to 11:30, because Caine makes an hilarious remark about the state of England:


Yeh good old Sean, he loves Scotland so much that he lives in Spain most of the time! Michael Caine is a professional Cockney and has traded on that most of his life. However it must be said that he has been in some damn fine films like Alfie, Zulu, Harry Brown, Get Carter, Ipcress File, Funeral in Berlin and the Italian Job.
 
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