essential new stock term definitions

evince

Truthmatters
http://desertpeace.wordpress.com/2008/10/07/new-stock-market-terms/




BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.






VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.






P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.






BROKER — What my broker has made me.






STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.






STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.






STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.






FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.






MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.






CASH FLOW– The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.






YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.






WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.






INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.






PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.
 
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected

I thought this was pretty good
 
Bear Market definition is a good one. I can see how the husband and wife can come to an agreement, but what can the kid offer to get his allowance reinstated?
 
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