The Anonymous
Bag On My Head
Dr. Anthony Fauci has again changed his recommendation about what to do with masks by consulting his tested and proven "Wheel of SCIENCE."
“Now I know it confuses people when the science changes so quickly, as if we are just making all this up as we go along,” explained Dr. Fauci. “That’s why I developed this handy 'Wheel of SCIENCE' for us to spin every morning, so people can really see that this isn’t just me saying whatever pops into my head!"
"Now-- let's give this puppy a spin!" he exclaimed as he gave the wheel a mighty turn.
The dial slowed, clicking just past "Cover Your Kids With Grocery Bags" and finally came to rest on: "Attach A Live Octopus Directly To Your Face."
“There it is, folks! Science has proven that the best way to prevent COVID transmission is to affix a live octopus directly over your mouth, nose, and probably eyes,” said Dr. Fauci, reaching into an aquarium and plastering the surprised sea creature’s tentacles directly onto his face.
The journalists watching on Zoom stared in shock, then went straight to work spreading the news of Dr. Fauci’s latest advice.
The government-approved media channels each dedicated a segment to the updated recommendation, complete with each ☭NN anchor hand-selecting their own octopus.
https://tinyurl.com/y3fohmul