for the engineers in the group

Don Quixote

Don Quixote

cancer survivor
Contributor
Four engineers get in a car. The car won't start.
The Mechanical Engineer says: "It's a broken starter"
The Electrical engineer says: "Dead battery"
The Chemical engineer says: "Impurities in the gasoline"
The IT engineer says: "Hey guys, I have an idea. How about we all get out of the car and get back in"


An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."...


Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many
thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
 
I love that last one, it's my favorite engineering joke. Now for the standard one...

For the optimist, the glass is half-full.
For the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
For the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
 
Don Quixote said:
Four engineers get in a car. The car won't start.
The Mechanical Engineer says: "It's a broken starter"
The Electrical engineer says: "Dead battery"
The Chemical engineer says: "Impurities in the gasoline"
The IT engineer says: "Hey guys, I have an idea. How about we all get out of the car and get back in"


An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."...


Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many
thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Click to expand...

The talking frog is funny.
 
Don Quixote said:
Four engineers get in a car. The car won't start.
The Mechanical Engineer says: "It's a broken starter"
The Electrical engineer says: "Dead battery"
The Chemical engineer says: "Impurities in the gasoline"
The IT engineer says: "Hey guys, I have an idea. How about we all get out of the car and get back in"


An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."...


Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many
thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Click to expand...

The last one is the best, i posted it on here before.
 
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