One of my best friends, sort of my adopted kid sister, has finally got rid of her philandering husband.
Fifteen years ago she and my wife caught him flying down I-40 with our neighbor's wife. He said he had to check into work on that Saturday.
Two weeks ago she calls me, tells me that Douche had been working on removing the back of a computer, using a philips head bit on a leatherman tool, and asked her to hold onto something, she dropped it so he stabbed her between the eyes with the tool. She ran upstairs and locked herself in her bedroom and called me. I told her to hang up and dial 911 IMMEDIATELY. She did, and three cops came and took out a report. They told her to file for a TRO and she did he next morning. They served papers to the guy at work the following day, and from that point he couldn't legally get back into his own house for two weeks, until the mandatory hearing.
So Douche calls up his homeowners liability insurer and gets a lawyer from then to represent him. She finds out two days before the hearing so hires her own attorney.
She went to the courthouse the day of the hearing and her attorney was not yet there so she went into the ladies room to freshen up. There's a gal in there with her and she strikes up a conversation 'oh, you look pretty in that dress" sort of thing. Simple exchange of pleasantries. The woman turns out to be Douche's attorney. lol!
She sits down in the courtroom to wait, and the three cops that came to her rescue two weeks earlier walked in and sat down behind her in show of support. One whispers to her: 'Douche's attorney subpoenaed all three of us, unprecedented for such a routine matter. We can't wait to get on the stand and tell our story.'
Douche's attorney see's what's going on so has a short conference with Douche. Then she goes over to meet my friend's attorney. They walk up to the judge and ask for a conference. One or two back and fourths with their clients. This lasted less than five minutes. Then the Judge announced the agreement.
Douche is out of the house permanently. He pays all house maintenance expenses, including mortgage, taxes, insurance, lawn service, etc,
Douche pays my friend $1000/ month living expenses.
Douche has to file for divorce, saving my friend the court costs.
If this is all followed properly my friend agrees not to press charges of assault.
Douche agreed to all this because otherwise, he's be a convicted criminal, likely get fired from his job and likely lose his engineering license.
What kind of douchebag uses a leatherman for a screwdriver? lol
Fifteen years ago she and my wife caught him flying down I-40 with our neighbor's wife. He said he had to check into work on that Saturday.
Two weeks ago she calls me, tells me that Douche had been working on removing the back of a computer, using a philips head bit on a leatherman tool, and asked her to hold onto something, she dropped it so he stabbed her between the eyes with the tool. She ran upstairs and locked herself in her bedroom and called me. I told her to hang up and dial 911 IMMEDIATELY. She did, and three cops came and took out a report. They told her to file for a TRO and she did he next morning. They served papers to the guy at work the following day, and from that point he couldn't legally get back into his own house for two weeks, until the mandatory hearing.
So Douche calls up his homeowners liability insurer and gets a lawyer from then to represent him. She finds out two days before the hearing so hires her own attorney.
She went to the courthouse the day of the hearing and her attorney was not yet there so she went into the ladies room to freshen up. There's a gal in there with her and she strikes up a conversation 'oh, you look pretty in that dress" sort of thing. Simple exchange of pleasantries. The woman turns out to be Douche's attorney. lol!
She sits down in the courtroom to wait, and the three cops that came to her rescue two weeks earlier walked in and sat down behind her in show of support. One whispers to her: 'Douche's attorney subpoenaed all three of us, unprecedented for such a routine matter. We can't wait to get on the stand and tell our story.'
Douche's attorney see's what's going on so has a short conference with Douche. Then she goes over to meet my friend's attorney. They walk up to the judge and ask for a conference. One or two back and fourths with their clients. This lasted less than five minutes. Then the Judge announced the agreement.
Douche is out of the house permanently. He pays all house maintenance expenses, including mortgage, taxes, insurance, lawn service, etc,
Douche pays my friend $1000/ month living expenses.
Douche has to file for divorce, saving my friend the court costs.
If this is all followed properly my friend agrees not to press charges of assault.
Douche agreed to all this because otherwise, he's be a convicted criminal, likely get fired from his job and likely lose his engineering license.
What kind of douchebag uses a leatherman for a screwdriver? lol
