Funniest joke I've heard in a log time.

MAGA MAN

Let's go Brandon!
The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

"May I help you sir?" she asked.

The man replied,

"I wan to see Valerie."

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies.

Perhaps you would prefer someone else" said the madam.

He replied,

"No, I must see Valerie."

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back

two nights in a row as she was too expensive.

"There are no discounts. The price is still $5000."

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again.

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man,

"No one has ever been with me three nights in a row."

"Where are you from?"

The man replied,

" New Brunswick ."

"Really," she said. "I have family in New Brunswick ."

"I know." the man said.

"Your sister died, and I am her attorney."

"She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."
 
Reminds me of another attorney joke....

Two attorneys were walking along the sidewalk in downtown (insert name of city here).

Walking towards them in the opposite direction came one of the most beautiful women either of them had ever seen, wearing the shortest skirt and tightest, skimpiest top either of them had ever seen, obviously with no bra underneath.

As she was passing them, she gave the two attorneys a sly, sexy smile and a wink.

After they had both turned there heads to prolong the pleasure of the sight of her, one of the attorneys said to the other.... "Oh my God, I would love to screw her!!!!"

To which the other attorney replied "Out of what?"
 
The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

"May I help you sir?" she asked.

The man replied,

"I wan to see Valerie."

"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies.

Perhaps you would prefer someone else" said the madam.

He replied,

"No, I must see Valerie."

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man she charged $5000 a visit.

Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back

two nights in a row as she was too expensive.

"There are no discounts. The price is still $5000."

Again, the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again.

Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie said to the man,

"No one has ever been with me three nights in a row."

"Where are you from?"

The man replied,

" New Brunswick ."

"Really," she said. "I have family in New Brunswick ."

"I know." the man said.

"Your sister died, and I am her attorney."

"She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."
That's a variation on this comedy sketch.


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A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without
water. His horse has already died of thirst..He's crawling through the
sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden
he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him.He
crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks
to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no
ordinary genie. She is wearing a FEMA (Federal Emergency Management
Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress.There's a calculator in her
pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. 'Well, cowboy,' says
the genie... 'You know how I work....You have three wishes..''I'm not
falling for this,' said the cowboy... 'I'm not going trust a FEMA
genie..''What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it
looks like you're a goner anyway!'The cowboy thinks about this for a
minute, and decides that the genie is right..'OK!, I wish I were in a lush
oasis with plenty of food and drink..'***POOF***The cowboy finds himself
in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with
jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.'OK, cowpoke, what's your second
wish?''My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest
dreams.'***POOF***The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests
filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.'OK, cowpuncher, you have
just one more wish. Better make it a good one!'After thinking for a few
minutes, the cowboy says... 'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful
women will want and need me.'***POOF***He was turned into a tampon.The
moral of the story:If the government offers to help you, there's going to
be a string attached.
 
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