Goose levels golfer, reasserting dominance over all humankind

B

Bourbon

In Yo Face!
(CNN)Geese are terrifying. Everyone knows this. Their bites hurt like hell and they have no respect for children or the elderly. In fact, they are the second-most terrifying bird behind turkeys (large, tenacious) and ahead of crows (eidetic, vengeful).

So this momentous trio of photographs showing a Canada goose absolutely trucking a high school golfer near Blissfield, Michigan, is just a reminder of the natural order of things. You can have, as one Twitter user put it, a "quiver full of bird maulers" and a whole high school athlete's worth of physical power, but the goose is going to win every time. It's science.

The unlucky human sacrifice here is Isaac Couling, a member of the Concord High School golf team. According to Blissfield Golf Coach Steve Babbitt, Couling, 16, was competing in the Madison Tournament at the World Creek Golf Course in Adrian, Michigan, when terror rained down.
"The group just finished teeing off on hole #7 and were walking down the fairway," Babbitt told CNN in an email. "They were aware of a goose nest on their left which they were looking at but not bothering when from behind them and to the right came the guard goose (protecting the nest)."

180424125820-03-goose-attacks-golfer-exlarge-169.jpg

180424125654-01-goose-attacks-golfer-exlarge-169.jpg

180424125754-02-goose-attacks-golfer-exlarge-169.jpg


Humans need to learn their place in the world ... ;)

https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/24/us/goose-golf-attack-michigan-photos-trnd/index.html


 
WinterBorn said:
This is where that bag full of clubs comes in handy. A 9 iron wins.
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It could win you a big fat fine and or jail time. Canadian geese are protected, especially when they are nesting. They are the bane of golf courses because it is so hard to get a nuisance permit to kill them, and you are restricted in the number you can cull. Anywhere geese set up near water, they become a problem. My city has geese crossing signs and traffic on a heavily traveled road sometimes get bottle necked by those things just randomly walking back and forth between the river and a nearby park. Not just like 1 or 2, but whole flocks.
 
Let's get this straight....
Kid with an entire set of long handled bludgens at the ready and the skills to use them falls prey to a f'ing goose ?
Sad, just sad...
 
ThatOwlWoman said:
"Birds rule, everything else drools." -- The Parrots Who Own Owlwoman

Three ounces of pure terror:

tLMTl8J.jpg
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my good buddy adopted an cockatoo who is beautiful (even though she pulled her chest feathers long before he got her)

I love her and she likes me too.

she still scares the shit out of me


I'm very careful when I give her a treat

I just look at the beak and know she could cut my finger right off.
 
Kacper said:
It could win you a big fat fine and or jail time. Canadian geese are protected, especially when they are nesting. They are the bane of golf courses because it is so hard to get a nuisance permit to kill them, and you are restricted in the number you can cull. Anywhere geese set up near water, they become a problem. My city has geese crossing signs and traffic on a heavily traveled road sometimes get bottle necked by those things just randomly walking back and forth between the river and a nearby park. Not just like 1 or 2, but whole flocks.
Click to expand...

If you are harassing the geese or messing with the nest, you might get a fine or jail time. When the goose attacks you without provocation, I think you are allowed to defend yourself.
 
she hears me walking up to the door and begins screeching.

I have to greet her and say hi before she calms down

I have been trying for years to get her to say "get me a beer"

She kinda mumbled it once
 
WinterBorn said:
If you are harassing the geese or messing with the nest, you might get a fine or jail time. When the goose attacks you without provocation, I think you are allowed to defend yourself.
Click to expand...

You never know with federal courts. My dad had to pay a hell of a fine for killing 4 canadian geese on a golf course WITH a permit to kill them on the golf course because it offended a woman who saw it and his permit to kill them got revoked retroactively after he had killed them because activist blue haired got her panties in a wad and created such a stink that they made-up the permit was "improperly issued" because he wasn't the sole owner of the golf course when that wasn't even a requirement to get the permit to begin with.
 
Kacper said:
It could win you a big fat fine and or jail time. Canadian geese are protected, especially when they are nesting. They are the bane of golf courses because it is so hard to get a nuisance permit to kill them, and you are restricted in the number you can cull. Anywhere geese set up near water, they become a problem. My city has geese crossing signs and traffic on a heavily traveled road sometimes get bottle necked by those things just randomly walking back and forth between the river and a nearby park. Not just like 1 or 2, but whole flocks.
Click to expand...

Thanks on behalf of the birds for pointing this out.

The only time I ever saw a wild goose as a kid was once spotting a V of them heading south for the winter, way high up, their calls barely audible. Like so many other things back then, their numbers were in steep decline due to pollution. It's kind of nice to see how they've made a comeback, even though they can be a nuisance esp. during breeding season.
 
WinterBorn said:
If you are harassing the geese or messing with the nest, you might get a fine or jail time. When the goose attacks you without provocation, I think you are allowed to defend yourself.
Click to expand...

Sometimes it's better to ask forgiveness, then it is to ask permission. :D
 
ThatOwlWoman said:
Thanks on behalf of the birds for pointing this out.

The only time I ever saw a wild goose as a kid was once spotting a V of them heading south for the winter, way high up, their calls barely audible. Like so many other things back then, their numbers were in steep decline due to pollution. It's kind of nice to see how they've made a comeback, even though they can be a nuisance esp. during breeding season.
Click to expand...

I see so many of them year round, I am not even sure why they are still protected. There is always a flock somewhere around here, even during winter. I have almost always lived on (literally) or close by golf courses so I see them constantly flying about from one to the other.
 
evince said:
she hears me walking up to the door and begins screeching.
I have to greet her and say hi before she calms down
I have been trying for years to get her to say "get me a beer"
She kinda mumbled it once
Click to expand...

Bless her heart, and yours too.

This is my 'too buddy. He was the pampered companion of a teen boy who grew up and didn't want him anymore because Tooie (dumb name, I know, I didn't give it to him!) hated his fiancee and bit her. Unfortunately the emotional trauma of being given away caused him to butcher his feathers and constantly scream the boy's name and his own, over and over and over. You could hear him over a quarter mile away. You can imagine the joy of our neighbors. lol He spent three years with us, then in despair I surrendered him to a cockatoo sanctuary in Washington. There he lives happily in a huge outdoor aviary with a dozen other males of his kind, singing the songs of their people and playing in trees and in the rain. The sanctuary founder sends me a yearly update. Tooie is in his mid-20s now, and hopefully will live into his 70s or beyond. Beautiful, wonderful creatures they are, but they do not make the best human companions because of their needs for their own people. He is a Mollucan cockatoo.

glgdyVp.jpg


And here's the poem I wrote for him.

You came into my life one day,
Flaunting your beautiful fairy feathers.
Each one an eloquent silent word
as you try to tell me things I cannot understand.
Could you be saying "Hey stupid, my water is filthy"?
I love your eyes, so dark and fathomless,
Ancient and wise, circled by dark blue rings,
That match the bruises you gave me.
Gossamer feathers that display your moods,
and hide your beak from the foolish!
O, the gnarled and wrinkled claws,
harkening of your ancestry, and clinging to
my fleeing back – you can jump, I see now.
Woodwork comes and goes, scabs fall off.
But fingers forever remember the softness
of salmon, peach and ivory.
 
Far too many people have no idea what they are getting into when they get a parrot. The birds bond for life but outlive humans. This frequently means the bird goes to a new owner and has difficulty adjusting.

It should be illegal to keep long living birds as pets. It is cruel for humans to take advantage of their tendency to bond young in order to make them pets. The end result is often a depressed bird with no way to fix it.
 
Bourbon said:
(CNN)Geese are terrifying. Everyone knows this. Their bites hurt like hell and they have no respect for children or the elderly. In fact, they are the second-most terrifying bird behind turkeys (large, tenacious) and ahead of crows (eidetic, vengeful).

So this momentous trio of photographs showing a Canada goose absolutely trucking a high school golfer near Blissfield, Michigan, is just a reminder of the natural order of things. You can have, as one Twitter user put it, a "quiver full of bird maulers" and a whole high school athlete's worth of physical power, but the goose is going to win every time. It's science.

The unlucky human sacrifice here is Isaac Couling, a member of the Concord High School golf team. According to Blissfield Golf Coach Steve Babbitt, Couling, 16, was competing in the Madison Tournament at the World Creek Golf Course in Adrian, Michigan, when terror rained down.
"The group just finished teeing off on hole #7 and were walking down the fairway," Babbitt told CNN in an email. "They were aware of a goose nest on their left which they were looking at but not bothering when from behind them and to the right came the guard goose (protecting the nest)."

180424125820-03-goose-attacks-golfer-exlarge-169.jpg

180424125654-01-goose-attacks-golfer-exlarge-169.jpg

180424125754-02-goose-attacks-golfer-exlarge-169.jpg


Humans need to learn their place in the world ... ;)

https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/24/us/goose-golf-attack-michigan-photos-trnd/index.html


Click to expand...

That's awesome! Nothing better than seeing the second biggest nuisance on a golf course take out the biggest.
 
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