Guno צְבִי
We fight, We win
Register Your Sissy Boy For Vacation Bible Gun Camp!
How much money should my child take to Camp?
Your child should take 30 twenty-dollar bills. An offering will be taken up after morning services each day. By enabling your youngster to place a $20 bill in the collection plate, he will learn the importance of giving money to people who matter most to the Lord. Any child who fails to put $20 into the offering plate will be taught a valuable lesson about peer pressure and mob dynamics. The child will then be locked in a bat-infested cave for the duration of the summer where he can more carefully contemplate his selfishness.
What is there to do?
Apocalyptic wilderness survival training, Bible reading, Scripture memory contests, marksmanship competitions, Old testament wild deer and boar sacrifices, gun care and cleaning, manly fellowship, Bible skits, and evening super surprise game competitions where children use tranquilizer guns to hunt unsaved homeless people who are dropped into the mountains by helicopter.
Who can come?
Landover Baptist Vacation Bible Camp is for anyone who finished Grade 3 up to those finished grade 6. Optional grade 7 for those who attended last year and failed to kill an endangered animal and memorize over 50 Bible verses.
What is the time schedule?
We are using a Bible based time schedule at camp. Thus, we are operating in what camp counselors refer to as "Eternity Mode." By depriving your child of food and sleep for days at a time, we pray that he will experience a complete loss of time and space, and ultimately self-worth at various points within the 30 days, coming to a better understanding of his piteousness in the eyes of the Lord.
https://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0703/biblecamp.html
How much money should my child take to Camp?
Your child should take 30 twenty-dollar bills. An offering will be taken up after morning services each day. By enabling your youngster to place a $20 bill in the collection plate, he will learn the importance of giving money to people who matter most to the Lord. Any child who fails to put $20 into the offering plate will be taught a valuable lesson about peer pressure and mob dynamics. The child will then be locked in a bat-infested cave for the duration of the summer where he can more carefully contemplate his selfishness.
What is there to do?
Apocalyptic wilderness survival training, Bible reading, Scripture memory contests, marksmanship competitions, Old testament wild deer and boar sacrifices, gun care and cleaning, manly fellowship, Bible skits, and evening super surprise game competitions where children use tranquilizer guns to hunt unsaved homeless people who are dropped into the mountains by helicopter.
Who can come?
Landover Baptist Vacation Bible Camp is for anyone who finished Grade 3 up to those finished grade 6. Optional grade 7 for those who attended last year and failed to kill an endangered animal and memorize over 50 Bible verses.
What is the time schedule?
We are using a Bible based time schedule at camp. Thus, we are operating in what camp counselors refer to as "Eternity Mode." By depriving your child of food and sleep for days at a time, we pray that he will experience a complete loss of time and space, and ultimately self-worth at various points within the 30 days, coming to a better understanding of his piteousness in the eyes of the Lord.
https://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0703/biblecamp.html