Laugh at leftists with Legion
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Leftists Pretty Sure President Trump is the Reason Why Their Fathers Didn’t Love Them
House DEMOCRATS quietly added “failure to make our daddies love us” into their latest articles of impeachment.
After members of the media questioned this surprising addition, Nasty Nancy Pelosi reluctantly elaborated.
“Well, it’s a completely undisputed fact,” the Speaker began. “When I’m sitting across from the President in the Oval Office and he says something like, ‘can it, Nancy!’ it is an unmistakably familiar feeling. Trump and my father have clearly been colluding. How else can it be explained?”
Jerry Nadler, already openly weeping, was far less composed.
“YEAH!” he yelled grabbing the microphone from Nancy. “Why don’t you just LEAVE ME ALONE! I told you I DON’T LIKE FOOTBALL, DAD—I mean TRUMP!!” he hollered.
Nadler waddled to the closest exit, screamed “I DON’T WANT YOUR LIFE!” and slammed the door.
It was then left to Adam Schiff to close what was left of the press conference.
“I too share Nadler’s concerns,” Schiff explained. “This President somehow in an effort to throw DEMOCRATS off their game and win reelection, worked with all our fathers years ago and instructed them to mock us and tell us to get haircuts. ‘WHAT’S THE MATTER, YOU LITTLE PANSY?’ Trump probably made my father scream at me, yelled Schiff. ‘WHAT? YOU GONNA CRY?!’ My dad taunted while smacking the back of my head. It’s sad to learn that he was being coerced by Trump that whole time.”
https://thegloriousamerican.com/faith/democrats-pretty-sure-president-trump-is-the-reason-why-their-fathers-didn-t-love-them-update/
House DEMOCRATS quietly added “failure to make our daddies love us” into their latest articles of impeachment.
After members of the media questioned this surprising addition, Nasty Nancy Pelosi reluctantly elaborated.
“Well, it’s a completely undisputed fact,” the Speaker began. “When I’m sitting across from the President in the Oval Office and he says something like, ‘can it, Nancy!’ it is an unmistakably familiar feeling. Trump and my father have clearly been colluding. How else can it be explained?”
Jerry Nadler, already openly weeping, was far less composed.
“YEAH!” he yelled grabbing the microphone from Nancy. “Why don’t you just LEAVE ME ALONE! I told you I DON’T LIKE FOOTBALL, DAD—I mean TRUMP!!” he hollered.
Nadler waddled to the closest exit, screamed “I DON’T WANT YOUR LIFE!” and slammed the door.
It was then left to Adam Schiff to close what was left of the press conference.
“I too share Nadler’s concerns,” Schiff explained. “This President somehow in an effort to throw DEMOCRATS off their game and win reelection, worked with all our fathers years ago and instructed them to mock us and tell us to get haircuts. ‘WHAT’S THE MATTER, YOU LITTLE PANSY?’ Trump probably made my father scream at me, yelled Schiff. ‘WHAT? YOU GONNA CRY?!’ My dad taunted while smacking the back of my head. It’s sad to learn that he was being coerced by Trump that whole time.”
https://thegloriousamerican.com/faith/democrats-pretty-sure-president-trump-is-the-reason-why-their-fathers-didn-t-love-them-update/
Trump Preemptively Pens Dying Wish Canceling Out RBG's Dying Wish
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Lying ill in Walter Reed Army Medical Center, President Trump weakly asked for a pen and paper.
Once these had been retrieved for him, he wrote out his dying wish -- just in case the worst should happen -- canceling out Ruth Bader Ginsburg's dying wish.
"I, Donald Trump, your favorite president, hereby state that my dying wish is for Amy Coney Barrett to be confirmed to the Supreme Court," Trump wrote as friends and family looked on somberly. "She's a great nominee. The best, maybe ever. That Kavanaugh guy was alright, he was pretty good. But Barrett is the real deal."
Legal scholars frantically tried to find a loophole so the nation could honor Ginsburg's dying wish but not the president's, but unfortunately for them, the plan was foolproof.
"We are forced to honor this as legitimate," they said. "There's no way around it. Since we accepted Ginsburg's dying wishes as constitutional law, now, Trump's are also legitimate. Should have thought that one through."
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-preemptively-pens-dying-wish-canceling-out-rbgs-dying-wish
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Lying ill in Walter Reed Army Medical Center, President Trump weakly asked for a pen and paper.
Once these had been retrieved for him, he wrote out his dying wish -- just in case the worst should happen -- canceling out Ruth Bader Ginsburg's dying wish.
"I, Donald Trump, your favorite president, hereby state that my dying wish is for Amy Coney Barrett to be confirmed to the Supreme Court," Trump wrote as friends and family looked on somberly. "She's a great nominee. The best, maybe ever. That Kavanaugh guy was alright, he was pretty good. But Barrett is the real deal."
Legal scholars frantically tried to find a loophole so the nation could honor Ginsburg's dying wish but not the president's, but unfortunately for them, the plan was foolproof.
"We are forced to honor this as legitimate," they said. "There's no way around it. Since we accepted Ginsburg's dying wishes as constitutional law, now, Trump's are also legitimate. Should have thought that one through."
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-preemptively-pens-dying-wish-canceling-out-rbgs-dying-wish
