Laugh @ leftists with Legion
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Cuomo Generously Offers To Admit Trump To New York Nursing Home
Governor Andrew Cuomo of New York has extended a generous offer to house Trump at one of his state's finest nursing homes.
Cuomo says he is making the gesture out of the goodness of his heart and that nothing bad will happen to the president, as nursing homes in New York have a great track record of taking care of COVID patients.
"We've got ample space, and it's really quiet around here -- honestly, it's to die for," Governor Cuomo said. "We have plenty of beds, and rest assured, you'll be well taken care of, Mr. President."
"Many people are using Trump's illness to divide, but it's time to unite and come together as Americans, and this is just my small way to do just that."
At publishing time, Cuomo had offered instead to just send COVID patients directly to the White House to cough on everybody if that better suited the president's busy schedule.
https://babylonbee.com/news/governor-cuomo-generously-offers-to-house-trump-at-one-of-his-finest-nursing-homes
After A Lot Of Prayer, Nancy Pelosi Tearfully Instructs Doctors To Pull The Plug On Trump (And Pence)
A tearful Nancy Pelosi has been calling Walter Reed Hospital and instructing doctors to ‘pull the plug’ on President Trump after he contracted COVID-19.
A receptionist at the hospital confirmed that Pelosi has called roughly fifty times, and at one point attempted a Dr. Fauci impression.
“As a woman devoted to my Catholic faith, I know the Quran tells us to be compassionate,” Pelosi explained. “So it’s with a heavy heart we say goodbye to Donald Trump and Mike Pence in due time. But definitely before lunch. I have a blowout at two.”
When asked why Pence should also be euthanized, Pelosi explained that it would be cruel to have the VP go on without ‘Papa Bear’. “I think that’s what Mike calls him”.
Update: After the hospital told Pelosi to stop calling, she paid a nurse to run through the President’s room and unplug any cord they could grab.
https://thegloriousamerican.com/health/after-a-lot-of-prayer-nancy-pelosi-tearfully-instructs-doctors-to-pull-the-plug-on-trump-and-pence/
