Laugh @ leftists with Legion
- Thread starter Legion
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85,000 Ballots Found Inside Biden's Colon
BETHESDA, MD—While performing a routine colonoscopy on Sleepy JoeBiden, doctors at the Walter Reed Medical Center made a surprising discovery inside the old man’s colon: 85,000 Trump ballots.
“At first we were incredulous, assuming it was another massive hairball similar to those we’d been seeing throughout the procedure,” said lead colonoscopologist Dr. Cole Collins, “After I zoomed and enhanced it, the picture clearly showed a mass of Trump ballots that appeared to have been lodged in there for over 12 months.”
"This brings new meaning to the term 'ballot dump.'"
A representative said there was a delay in counting the ballots after the removal process, citing a severe shortage of volunteers, but that they did indeed count 85,000 ballots right before the FBI raided the facility with truckloads of industrial shredders.
https://babylonbee.com/news/oh-no-85000-trump-ballots-found-inside-bidens-colon
BETHESDA, MD—While performing a routine colonoscopy on Sleepy JoeBiden, doctors at the Walter Reed Medical Center made a surprising discovery inside the old man’s colon: 85,000 Trump ballots.
“At first we were incredulous, assuming it was another massive hairball similar to those we’d been seeing throughout the procedure,” said lead colonoscopologist Dr. Cole Collins, “After I zoomed and enhanced it, the picture clearly showed a mass of Trump ballots that appeared to have been lodged in there for over 12 months.”
"This brings new meaning to the term 'ballot dump.'"
A representative said there was a delay in counting the ballots after the removal process, citing a severe shortage of volunteers, but that they did indeed count 85,000 ballots right before the FBI raided the facility with truckloads of industrial shredders.
https://babylonbee.com/news/oh-no-85000-trump-ballots-found-inside-bidens-colon
Rittenhouse, Sandmann Agree To Share Joint Custody Of CNN
ATLANTA, GA—With Rittenhouse found "not guilty", media outlets across the country are preparing for costly defamation lawsuits after a year of calling him a white supremacist.
With CNN already half-owned by Nick Sandmann, the famous fake news organization will soon be giving the other half of its ownership over to Kyle Rittenhouse. The two have agreed to share joint custody.
"We would like to announce that our clients have come to an agreement to share custody of CNN," said Sandman and Rittenhouse's legal teams. "Sandmann will have custody on weekdays, with custody transferring over to Rittenhouse on holidays and weekends."
After the announcement, Rittenhouse began weeping upon realizing he was now a multimillionaire, while Sandmann smirked like a big MAGA hat-wearing jerkface.
Neither party has decided what to do with Brian Stelter, who may have to be put up for adoption.
https://babylonbee.com/news/rittenhouse-sandmann-agree-to-share-joint-custody-of-cnn
ATLANTA, GA—With Rittenhouse found "not guilty", media outlets across the country are preparing for costly defamation lawsuits after a year of calling him a white supremacist.
With CNN already half-owned by Nick Sandmann, the famous fake news organization will soon be giving the other half of its ownership over to Kyle Rittenhouse. The two have agreed to share joint custody.
"We would like to announce that our clients have come to an agreement to share custody of CNN," said Sandman and Rittenhouse's legal teams. "Sandmann will have custody on weekdays, with custody transferring over to Rittenhouse on holidays and weekends."
After the announcement, Rittenhouse began weeping upon realizing he was now a multimillionaire, while Sandmann smirked like a big MAGA hat-wearing jerkface.
Neither party has decided what to do with Brian Stelter, who may have to be put up for adoption.
https://babylonbee.com/news/rittenhouse-sandmann-agree-to-share-joint-custody-of-cnn