Le Spider

[FUCK THE POLICE]

Wife: SPIDER! SPIDER!
Me: and?
Wife: Kill it!
Me: why?
Wife: it's a spider!
Me: yeah I know that, but why would I kill it?
Wife: It's creepy.
Me: I'm pretty sure it's more scared of you than you are of it, and you weigh about 9,000 times what it weighs. It's just silly to be scared of it.
Wife: so you're not going to kill the spider?
Me: are you going to come up with a reason to kill it?
Wife: fine! I'll do it myself.
Me: no you won't.
Wife: come on! Kill it.
Me: no.
Dog: eats it.

 

[Beefy]

That's about as funny as any panel of family circus.

 

[Minister of Truth]

What wife is this???

BTW, Watermark, your dog is evil. I'm sure its your fault, but you should probably just put it down like the scum that it is...

 

[/MSG/]

My wife is like that. Except normally I'll go pick the spider up and chase her around the house with it.