Legends of Ron Paul Part 2

Ron Paul tugs on Superman's cape AND spits into the wind.

For Halloween, Chuck Norris went as Ron Paul.

Superman wears Ron Paul underoos.

Ron Paul parted the Red Sea while on break from building The Pyramids. He gave Moses the credit because he's just that kind of guy.

Despite reports to the contrary, all your base are belong to Ron Paul.
 
Warren said:
Add your own!

1. During the Vietnam War, Ron Paul allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds.

2. 70% of the body's weight is water. 70% of Ron Paul's weight is balls.

3. Ron Paul can slam a revolving door.

4. Outer space exists because not everyone is cool enough to share the same planet with Ron Paul.

5. Ron Paul sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

6. Ron Paul can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

7. Ron Paul's hand is the only one that can beat a Royal Flush.

8. Congressman Paul has counted to infinity. Twice.

9. Dr. Paul can divide by Zero.

10. Ron Paul CAN believe it's not butter.

11. There are no lesbians, just women who haven't met Ron Paul.

12. Jesus can walk on water, but Ron Paul can walk on Jesus.

13. Ron Paul always knows where Waldo and Carmen Sandiego are.

14. It takes Ron Paul only 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

15. Ron Paul doesn't believe in Germany.

16. Only Ron Paul can touch MC Hammer.

17. Ron Paul plays Russian Roulette everyday with a fully loaded gun. And always wins.

18. Helen Keller's favorite color is Ron Paul.

19. Ron Paul built Rome in a day.

20. A recent survey found that 94% of American women lost their virginity to Ron Paul. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.

21. Ron Paul shot the Sheriff AND the Deputy.

22. Ron Paul can judge a book by its cover.

23. Ron Paul doesn't play the lottery because it doesn't have enough balls.

24. Ron Paul doesn't own a house. He just walks into random houses and
people move.

25. When God said, "Let there be light." Ron Paul replied "Say please."

26. Everybody loves Raymond, except Ron Paul.

27. In a fight between Jesus and Darth Vader, Ron Paul would win.

28. When Ron Paul divides, there are no remainders.

29. Ron Paul is who let the dogs out.

30. The square root of Ron Paul is Liberty.
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I was prepared to down play your attempt at humor. But this was pretty freakin' funny. :clink:
 
Warren said:
Some of these are originals but most of them I just altered from Chuck Norris jokes. For some reason I find this particular style of comedy especially hilarious.
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Oh.....you copied it! I knew it. Typical libertarian.
 
Crop circles are just President Ron Paul's way of telling the world that we need to follow the constitution.
 
ron pauls dick is so big that when he's banging a chick, when he gives her a kiss he sucks his own cock... LOL
 
Ron Paul, even though a Libertarian, runs as a Republican congressman and wins!!!

Oh wait that actually happens when Libertarians run as Repubs, they really do get in power, get to vote and influence things.
 
TheDanold said:
Ron Paul, even though a Libertarian, runs as a Republican congressman and wins!!!

Oh wait that actually happens when Libertarians run as Repubs, they really do get in power, get to vote and influence things.
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oh wait no it doesn't since he's polling at 2% in the republican primary... yeah he's winning big.
 
I happen to know #16 is true:

mcpaul.jpg
 
* Ron Paul does not sleep. He waits.

* Ron Paul was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.

* Ron Paul doesn't have to buy a vowel, Pat Sayjak just gives them to him.

* Ron Paul doesn't need air, air needs Ron Paul.

* Cigarettes get addicted to Ron Paul.

* Ron Paul's got milk

* How many Ron Paul's does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, Ron Paul has night vision

* Michael Jordan once said "I wanna be like Ron"

* Ron Paul can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

* Ron Paul has sold one clone of himself to each country in Europe, just in case the Germans ever decide to get crazy again.

* When Ron Paul jumps into a body of water, he doesnt get wet. The water gets Ron Paul instead.

* Ron Paul invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly

* Ron Paul isnt cool, cool models itself after Ron Paul.

* When someone sneezes, God says Ron Bless you.

* The sun don't shine on Ron Paul. Ron Paul shines on the sun.

* Ron Paul frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

* God wanted 10 days to create the world. Ron Paul gave him 6.

* Ron Paul does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Ron Paul goes killing.

* Ron Paul is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate an Indian.

* Ron Paul is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Ron Paul

* Ron Paul can unscramble an egg.

* In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Ron Paul, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
 
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