Malkin, Limbaugh to Take on Blastocysts in SCHIP fight

Cypress

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BREAKING: Malkin, Limbaugh to Take on Blastocysts in Children's Health Insurance Fight

Special to Daily Kos

Having lost previous showdowns with a twelve year-old boy and a two year-old girl, conservative activists Michelle Malkin and Rush Limbaugh are now predicting victory as they take aim at a new target: blastocysts whose parents might one day abuse a federal program that helps fill in gaps in children's health insurance coverage. Yesterday they formally announced the launch of People On The Air To Oppose Expanding the Children's Health Insurance Program (POTATOE CHIP).

"We're tired of getting kicked around by these kids" said Malkin, a columnist and frequent contributor to Fox News Channel. "We're opening up a new front in the war on future SCHIP abuse, and this time we intend to win."

Limbaugh, a somewhat but not entirely popular AM radio host, joined Malkin's campaign after his own efforts to derail the SCHIP expansion were recently exposed and debunked. "These kids punched me in the nuts and I am not going to take it," he said. "These far-left blastocysts better brace themselves for the full brunt of my considerable power. I mean it. They will not fare well against the brunt of POTATOE CHIP."

Human blastocysts are made up of approximately 70-100 cells and, despite their diminutive size, wield considerable power. President Bush consdiers them American citizens, and their legal status has prompted the formation of influential blastocyst communities across the country.

Tiny Goober, a spokesman for American Blastocysts Born in America (ABBA), vowed to take swift action against POTATOE CHIP. "Whatever happened to being innocent until proven guilty?" said Goober. "They're just coming after us because they're getting the crap beat out of them by anyone with arms and legs."

To date, no blastocyst, nor any blastocyst's parent or legal guardian, has been formally charged with abusing the health insurance program. Still, POTATOE CHIP---which also includes writers for The National Review, The Weekly Standard and Powerline---vows to leave no stone unturned. "It's a lot of sifting through people's garbage in the middle of the night looking for discarded home pregnancy test kits," said Malkin. "But that's what we do best. It's how we show our patriotism."



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