cancel2 2022
Canceled
A blind rabbit was hopping through the woods, tripping over logs and crashing into trees. At the same time, a blind snake was slithering through the same forest, with identical results. They chanced to collide head-on in a clearing.
"Please excuse me, sir, I'm blind and I bumped into you accidentally," apologised the rabbit.
"That's quite all right," replied the snake, "I have the same problem!"
"All my life I've been wondering what I am," said the rabbit, "Do you think you could help me find out?"
"I'll try," said the snake.
He gently coiled himself around the rabbit.
"Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have a little fluffy tail and long ears. You're... hmmm... you're probably a bunny rabbit!"
"Great!" said the rabbit. "Thanks, I really owe you one!"
"Well," replied the snake, "I don't know what I am, either. Do you suppose you could try and tell me?"
The rabbit ran his paws all over the snake.
"Well, you're low, cold and slimy..." And, as he ran one paw underneath the snake, "and you have no balls. You must be an attorney!"
A certain old cat had made his home in the alley behind Gabe's bar for some time, subsisting on scraps and occasional handouts from the bartender. One evening, emboldened by hunger, the feline attempted to follow Gabe through the back door. Regrettably, only his body had made it through when the door slammed shut, severing the cat's tail at its base. This proved too much for the old creature, who looked sadly at Gabe and expired on the spot.
Gabe put the carcass back out in the alley and went back to business. The mandatory closing time arrived and Gabe was in the process of locking up after the last customers had gone. Approaching the back door he was startled to see an apparition of the old cat mournfully holding its severed tail out, silently pleading for Gabe to put the tail back on its corpse so that it could go on to the kitty afterworld complete.
Gabe shook his head sadly and said to the ghost, "I can't. You know the law -- no retailing spirits after 2:00 AM."
A primary school teacher was asking the pupils what their parents did for a living.
"Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?"
Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amy," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.
Billy's father replied, "Well, I'm really a lawyer. But how do you explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old child?"
"Please excuse me, sir, I'm blind and I bumped into you accidentally," apologised the rabbit.
"That's quite all right," replied the snake, "I have the same problem!"
"All my life I've been wondering what I am," said the rabbit, "Do you think you could help me find out?"
"I'll try," said the snake.
He gently coiled himself around the rabbit.
"Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have a little fluffy tail and long ears. You're... hmmm... you're probably a bunny rabbit!"
"Great!" said the rabbit. "Thanks, I really owe you one!"
"Well," replied the snake, "I don't know what I am, either. Do you suppose you could try and tell me?"
The rabbit ran his paws all over the snake.
"Well, you're low, cold and slimy..." And, as he ran one paw underneath the snake, "and you have no balls. You must be an attorney!"
A certain old cat had made his home in the alley behind Gabe's bar for some time, subsisting on scraps and occasional handouts from the bartender. One evening, emboldened by hunger, the feline attempted to follow Gabe through the back door. Regrettably, only his body had made it through when the door slammed shut, severing the cat's tail at its base. This proved too much for the old creature, who looked sadly at Gabe and expired on the spot.
Gabe put the carcass back out in the alley and went back to business. The mandatory closing time arrived and Gabe was in the process of locking up after the last customers had gone. Approaching the back door he was startled to see an apparition of the old cat mournfully holding its severed tail out, silently pleading for Gabe to put the tail back on its corpse so that it could go on to the kitty afterworld complete.
Gabe shook his head sadly and said to the ghost, "I can't. You know the law -- no retailing spirits after 2:00 AM."
A primary school teacher was asking the pupils what their parents did for a living.
"Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?"
Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amy," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.
Billy's father replied, "Well, I'm really a lawyer. But how do you explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old child?"
Last edited: