There are times when I like cats. I like cats that have the good sense to keep out of my way and I like cats that do their own thing, popping in once or twice a day to see if food has been left for them.
But most of all I like cats skinned and baked with a choice of fresh veggies and a nice, rich gravy.
Someone asked me today if I liked dogs. Dogs are stupid. Dogs have a kind of stupid that is catching. Dog owners are, all too often, completely ga ga. They are ga ga because they believe their particular mutt has the intelligence of a university don, despite the fact that if one was to suggest that the owner stuck his nose up someone else's arse just to say hello he would be the subject of some derision. Lets face it a dog is an animal into which you pour money and out of which, in return, you get shit! A bit like a government, I guess.
I have known several university professors, academics, writers and successful business people. Should any one of them, for any reason, curl up on a couch and start licking their balls I fear I would be most disappointed. Dogs are dogs but dog owners clearly have 'issues'. Cats are cats and cat owners know to leave well alone except to marvel at their agility as they scoot up brand new curtains to watch the world pass by from the pelmet.
My grandchildren have a thing for hamsters but, search as I may, I can find few endearing factors. I suppose that, devoid of their fur, and microwaved for a minute or two, they might make a passable sandwich!
Goldfish are pretty tasteless.
That's all I have to say about pets.
