Mott the Hoople
Sweet Jane
If the truth hurts it’s because you stretched it to much.
If you’re the smartest person in the room…you’re in the wrong room.
The word “impossible” is an oxymoron. For example, I’m possible.
When you are down only trust your dog. Everyone else will kick you.
A conservative is a person who believes government is the problem, gets elected, and proves it.
A liberal is a person who believes that governments role is to serve the people, gets elected, and serves them…medium well.
Never argue with a fool unless you’re looking in the mirror.
A poor politician will give you the shaft. A good politician puts Vaseline on it.
Be nice to your siblings. They will probably be the only ones to attend your funeral.
A foolish man cries about the tear in his pocket. A wise man uses it to scratch his balls.
When in doubt…blame someone else.
Honesty may be the best policy but it’s also the best way to become unpopular.
Never say anything bad about the deceased. They can’t hear you.
Will Rogers never met a man he didn’t like but keep in mind he never met you.
Sex is like pizza. When it’s good it’s very, very good and when it’s bad it’s still pretty darned good.
Women are not trustworthy. No one that can bleed for three days straight without dying is.
Only vote for people who will die in office. That way you’ll have no regrets.
Yossarian was right. Anyone trying to get you killed is the enemy.
Corporations cannot be considered U.S. citizens until Texas executes one.
Fear the “Good Idea” Fairy.
Astronauts are crazy. You’d have to be to drive a machine containing millions of pounds of explosive chemicals in which every part of that machine was built by the lowest bidder.
If you’re the smartest person in the room…you’re in the wrong room.
The word “impossible” is an oxymoron. For example, I’m possible.
When you are down only trust your dog. Everyone else will kick you.
A conservative is a person who believes government is the problem, gets elected, and proves it.
A liberal is a person who believes that governments role is to serve the people, gets elected, and serves them…medium well.
Never argue with a fool unless you’re looking in the mirror.
A poor politician will give you the shaft. A good politician puts Vaseline on it.
Be nice to your siblings. They will probably be the only ones to attend your funeral.
A foolish man cries about the tear in his pocket. A wise man uses it to scratch his balls.
When in doubt…blame someone else.
Honesty may be the best policy but it’s also the best way to become unpopular.
Never say anything bad about the deceased. They can’t hear you.
Will Rogers never met a man he didn’t like but keep in mind he never met you.
Sex is like pizza. When it’s good it’s very, very good and when it’s bad it’s still pretty darned good.
Women are not trustworthy. No one that can bleed for three days straight without dying is.
Only vote for people who will die in office. That way you’ll have no regrets.
Yossarian was right. Anyone trying to get you killed is the enemy.
Corporations cannot be considered U.S. citizens until Texas executes one.
Fear the “Good Idea” Fairy.
Astronauts are crazy. You’d have to be to drive a machine containing millions of pounds of explosive chemicals in which every part of that machine was built by the lowest bidder.
