New Study Might Explain Why White People Seem So Angry Lately

[Guno צְבִי]

Have you ever wondered why the “alt-right” is obsessed with the term “white genocide”? Are you perplexed about the Trump administration’s obstinate insistence on snatching babies from the arms of parents and tossing them into makeshift concentration camps? Were you shocked to hear about the decline in Fox News viewers and Taylor Swift’s album sales?

Well, a new report by the University of Wisconsin’s Applied Population Lab might explain the Caucasian consternation behind the rise in police calls, the rants in the Whole Foods produce department and the Trump administration’s alt-right ethnic cleansing plan.

In 2016, for the first time ever*, more non-Hispanic white people died than were born in 26 of the 50 U.S. states, according to the University of Wisconsin’s Applied Population Lab’s new report: “White Deaths Exceed Births in a Majority of U.S. States.” (Personally, I think the name is a little too on the nose. It leaves no room for suspense. I would have named it something like:



https://www.theroot.com/new-study-might-explain-why-white-people-seem-so-angry-1826985692

 

[Guno צְבִי]

Although the news may be disheartening for America’s white population, there are some positive statistics that were not pointed out in the report:

The U.S. potato-salad satisfaction ratio has increased by 2.4 percentage points since 2000.

White-on-white crime has declined, according to a fictional study by the National Institute of Things White People Say.

The seasoning industry has experienced an economic boom.

By 2045, the phrase “not all white people” will be more specific.

Researchers in Wakanda University’s Department of Wypipology say it will evolve to “not Connor and Amber.”


Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity will have an audience of only 27 people by 2023.

 

[hvilleherb]

America declines and Guno applauds.