charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Good Day to you, the visitor.
I'm a little surprised you bothered to come back. Even i admit that i offer a shoddy standard of service but then again what the hell do you people expect? Take it up with the organ grinder not the monkey. Please don't ask why they call him that. He scares me. You wouldn't much like it being stuck down here in Mr Damocles' internet-enabled well, either. There used to be six of us but their output dropped and, one by one, they disappeared during the notorious "Board Upgrades". I fear i have said too much.
How i miss the light.
At least i still have the companionship of my friend, Reginald Prowse, the asthmatic mouse. Mr Damocles says that if enough people don't read this tommyrot he will drown Reginald Prowse in his 10-gallon hat. I am so lonely.
So, in tribute to mouses all over the world here are 10 actual real life facts about our rodent brothers.
Top 10 Facts About Mouses
1.The Latin name for the mouse, Mus musculus, translates literally as 'computer peripheral'
2.Although now superseded by the standard 'mouses', the correct plural form of mouse is 'mieces'
3.The female mouse can give birth to as many as 15 baby mouses, sometimes up to 10 times a year. This is because female mouses are slags
4.In their spare time mouses like nothing better than attending cheese and wine events, being injected with anti-dandruff shampoo and avoiding large broom-wielding black ladies complaining about the inefficacy of their cat's rodent control skills
5.Elephants are afraid of mice - nobody knows why but there's bad blood there, mark my works
At the height of the Cold War top British genetic scientists sought to utilise the natural tendency of mouses to nest in houses in order to create the ultimate listening device
6.Perhaps the commonest breed of mouse is the house mouse, so called because the species were pioneers of the up-tempo early 80s electronic dance scene later referred to as 'House Music'
7.This should not be confused with 'Electro-House', a sub-genre popularised by artists such as Felix Da Housecat who, confusingly, was not an actual cat
8.Or a mouse
9.The mouse is legendary, in the animal underworld, for its unparalleled fearlessness and is scared of nothing with the exception of the incendiary cocktail of premature blindness and armed farmer's wives
10.Although friendly Jew-baiting cartoonist Walt Disney based his famous creation Minnie Mouse on his wife he was not, as was frequently rumoured at the time, actually married to a mouse. His wife Lillian was, in fact, a Chinese Dwarf Hamster
I'm a little surprised you bothered to come back. Even i admit that i offer a shoddy standard of service but then again what the hell do you people expect? Take it up with the organ grinder not the monkey. Please don't ask why they call him that. He scares me. You wouldn't much like it being stuck down here in Mr Damocles' internet-enabled well, either. There used to be six of us but their output dropped and, one by one, they disappeared during the notorious "Board Upgrades". I fear i have said too much.
How i miss the light.
At least i still have the companionship of my friend, Reginald Prowse, the asthmatic mouse. Mr Damocles says that if enough people don't read this tommyrot he will drown Reginald Prowse in his 10-gallon hat. I am so lonely.
So, in tribute to mouses all over the world here are 10 actual real life facts about our rodent brothers.
Top 10 Facts About Mouses
1.The Latin name for the mouse, Mus musculus, translates literally as 'computer peripheral'
2.Although now superseded by the standard 'mouses', the correct plural form of mouse is 'mieces'
3.The female mouse can give birth to as many as 15 baby mouses, sometimes up to 10 times a year. This is because female mouses are slags
4.In their spare time mouses like nothing better than attending cheese and wine events, being injected with anti-dandruff shampoo and avoiding large broom-wielding black ladies complaining about the inefficacy of their cat's rodent control skills
5.Elephants are afraid of mice - nobody knows why but there's bad blood there, mark my works
At the height of the Cold War top British genetic scientists sought to utilise the natural tendency of mouses to nest in houses in order to create the ultimate listening device
6.Perhaps the commonest breed of mouse is the house mouse, so called because the species were pioneers of the up-tempo early 80s electronic dance scene later referred to as 'House Music'
7.This should not be confused with 'Electro-House', a sub-genre popularised by artists such as Felix Da Housecat who, confusingly, was not an actual cat
8.Or a mouse
9.The mouse is legendary, in the animal underworld, for its unparalleled fearlessness and is scared of nothing with the exception of the incendiary cocktail of premature blindness and armed farmer's wives
10.Although friendly Jew-baiting cartoonist Walt Disney based his famous creation Minnie Mouse on his wife he was not, as was frequently rumoured at the time, actually married to a mouse. His wife Lillian was, in fact, a Chinese Dwarf Hamster
