As I watched the pathetic New York Jets lay a goose egg against the Kansas City Chiefs this weekend, I realized I'd just watched a larger struggle between red states and blue states. Of course, New York is a perennial blue state and just looking at the sea of red shirts in the Kansas City crowd tells you which way bleeding Kansas votes. And just like in the last few elections the reds pounded the blues. That's when it hit me: we should have let the fucking South secede from the Union. If we had where would those ignorant fucks be right now? They'd be a third world country, wallowing in their own filth, throwing their trash on their lawn, hanging their niggers and fucking their sisters.
That's right, for all the idiots in the South who vote against their own interests, I've lost all respect and sympathy. Your Republicans have completely eroded all social safety nets, but guess what states depend on them the most? That's right, the glorious, self sufficient, "backbone of America" collects the most checks from Uncle Sam, the most unemployment, welfare and public assistance. Face it you fucks, the blue states keep this goddamn country afloat. New York and California generate more money then most of the red states combined. California alone is the
fifth largest economy in the world. And yet every year Kansas and states like it vote overwhelmingly against there own self interests. And why? So that the gays can't get married? Brilliant. Do any of you even know any gays? Probably not. They don't live in your bullshit states. Make sure to keep voting exactly like the local church tells you. For all those people in the "red states" who stand against the red tide, I salute you for your strength in a sea of ignorance. But for all those that support life by opposing abortion, but supporting war and the death penalty, the only thing consistent is your inconsistency.
Christians who have a consistent position can be respected. If you support life, then stand against war, the death penalty and abortion, like the Pope. That's right the Pope doesn't support your war or your death penalty. Have a consistent position. I can respect that. But don't waste our time with your fake moral values just because you're opposed to people who abort a clump of cells. A few people have tried to study the madness of Kansas and their ilk. If you want to try to understand the insane, then read
What's the Matter with Kansas, by Thomas Frank, if you can stomach it. Just know this: Every year, they vote to keep themselves working shitty jobs, at the whim of awesome corporate oligarchies, for minimum wage with no benefits. When they lose that job, they make sure to vote so that they can't get unemployment benefits after nine months. They pump out more kids and make sure they vote so they can't get food stamps or housing assistance. When they get sick, they make sure to vote so that they can't get health insurance. They pay the most taxes and then make sure to vote so that the richest people can take deduction after deduction until they're paying virtually nothing. Good for you, idiots, keep it up. You deserve everything you get. It's just too bad Lincoln wasn't smart enough to let you go when you wanted to so many years ago.
