I know...that's redundant.
Before the Republicans in Congress went on vacation they voted to repeal ObamaCare for a 40th time. It’s really now less a governing philosophy and more like CHARLIE MANSON applying for parole.
OPRAH was shopping in Switzerland and a Swiss clerk refused to show her a purse costing $38,000. To prove her point, OPRAH bought Switzerland.
San Diego Mayor BOB FILNER left his sexual harassment rehab program a week early. He said, “I’m mostly cured. Now I only do what they do in New York. Brought new meaning to “Stop and Frisk.”
North Korea just developed their first-ever Smartphone. It’s just like an “iPhone,” but if you ask it any questions it immediately reports you to the police.
It’s back to school time. I won’t say the kids today are more sophisticated, but the latest edition of “My Weekly Reader” now has an “After Dark” column. — And a picture of BENJAMIN FRANKLIN sitting nude on wrought-iron furniture.
You know it’s that time of year when you see all those “Back To School Condom Sales.”
Our local high school just figured out a great way to save money. They’re going to teach “Sex Education” and “Driver’s Ed,” in the same car.
The schools are really tough these days. I know one where the kids on the debating team were busted for using steroids.
Tough? I overheard a son say to his father, “I don’t want to go to school! It’s like a jungle! One fight after another. They threaten me a hundred times a day. I’m not going to school!” And the father said, “You have to go, you’re the principal!”
So kids, it’s back to school and you’d better hit the books. Remember, you have to be able to spell “SAT” in order to pass it.
Football is also once again upon us. From now until the Superbowl, if a wife wants her husband to pay attention to her, she’s going to have to wear a nightgown made out of Astro-Turf.
As part of her anti-obesity campaign, First Lady MICHELLE OBAMA is releasing a Hip Hop album. To help lead this war may we suggest Frigidier-General CHRIS CHRISTIE.” — He’s one Republican who knows all about “Weapons of Mass Calories.”
Before the Republicans in Congress went on vacation they voted to repeal ObamaCare for a 40th time. It’s really now less a governing philosophy and more like CHARLIE MANSON applying for parole.
OPRAH was shopping in Switzerland and a Swiss clerk refused to show her a purse costing $38,000. To prove her point, OPRAH bought Switzerland.
San Diego Mayor BOB FILNER left his sexual harassment rehab program a week early. He said, “I’m mostly cured. Now I only do what they do in New York. Brought new meaning to “Stop and Frisk.”
North Korea just developed their first-ever Smartphone. It’s just like an “iPhone,” but if you ask it any questions it immediately reports you to the police.
It’s back to school time. I won’t say the kids today are more sophisticated, but the latest edition of “My Weekly Reader” now has an “After Dark” column. — And a picture of BENJAMIN FRANKLIN sitting nude on wrought-iron furniture.
You know it’s that time of year when you see all those “Back To School Condom Sales.”
Our local high school just figured out a great way to save money. They’re going to teach “Sex Education” and “Driver’s Ed,” in the same car.
The schools are really tough these days. I know one where the kids on the debating team were busted for using steroids.
Tough? I overheard a son say to his father, “I don’t want to go to school! It’s like a jungle! One fight after another. They threaten me a hundred times a day. I’m not going to school!” And the father said, “You have to go, you’re the principal!”
So kids, it’s back to school and you’d better hit the books. Remember, you have to be able to spell “SAT” in order to pass it.
Football is also once again upon us. From now until the Superbowl, if a wife wants her husband to pay attention to her, she’s going to have to wear a nightgown made out of Astro-Turf.
As part of her anti-obesity campaign, First Lady MICHELLE OBAMA is releasing a Hip Hop album. To help lead this war may we suggest Frigidier-General CHRIS CHRISTIE.” — He’s one Republican who knows all about “Weapons of Mass Calories.”