Self Expression

  • Thread starter Thread starter TRGLDTE
  • Start date Start date
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TRGLDTE

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Face to face
Our bodies touching in the gentle linger that follows embrace
you told me what our future would not be

While you kissed me - one. last. time.
tenderly, softly, slowly
you reached into the very heart of my soul and took hold

Eyes downcast you hesitated,
turned, walked away
forever

Realization, the gift you gave me
In my hand, my aching heart
and I stood …..thanking you.
 
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Does the comma after "Eyes downcast" halt the line? Should I remove it?


Edit: I went ahead and did it.
 
Troglodyte27 said:
Face to face
Our bodies touching in the gentle linger that follows embrace
you told me what our future would not be

While you kissed me - one. last. time.
tenderly, softly, slowly
you reached into the very heart of my soul and took hold

Eyes downcast you hesitated,
turned, walked away
forever

Realization, the gift you gave me
In my hand, my aching heart
and I stood …..thanking you.
Click to expand...


Trog,

If you meant to PM this to Robdawg, you hit the post button by accident, instead of the PM button.
 
doniston said:
Not when you show that kind of conceit--- It isn't a bit funny. You said something similar to me, a couple of months ago. and it too went over like a lead ballon.
Click to expand...

I thought we weren't talking to each other anymore. Is that over? Because if it is, I've got plenty to say.
 
Troglodyte27 said:
Face to face
Our bodies touching in the gentle linger that follows embrace
you told me what our future would not be

While you kissed me - one. last. time.
tenderly, softly, slowly
you reached into the very heart of my soul and took hold

Eyes downcast you hesitated,
turned, walked away
forever

Realization, the gift you gave me
In my hand, my aching heart
and I stood …..thanking you.
Click to expand...

Dude, she sounds like a total bitch. You don't need that ignorant skank.
 
AssHatZombie said:
Dude, she sounds like a total bitch. You don't need that ignorant skank.
Click to expand...
Twenty-five years ago. A confused young person, but not a skank. I'm not happy that you used the term, but hey you don't know her. I respect this person today. I hated her for years and wouldn't have 'spit' on her grave to water the flowers.

Foreign born within the sound of Bow's bells and living in projects, plucked across the ocean to live on the Gold Coast while a teenager - Confusion abounds.
 
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