cancel2 2022
Canceled
One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of Indians attacked them and knocked them out.
When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne. The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."
So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The chief then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his arse without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.
Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The chief soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apparent reason, and was killed.
The two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"
The second guy answered while still laughing, "I just couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."
My girlfriend and I went out to a restaurant last night, and some of the other diners started calling me a 'paedo' and a 'cradle snatcher.' All because I'm a 52 year old man with a 21 year old girlfriend.
It totally ruined our 10 year anniversary meal.
Putting a pin through all of my best friends condoms seemed like a good idea at the time.
Backfired though when I found out my wife is pregnant.
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."
"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"
A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone.
"Morning!" he said.
The other man replies, "No, just having a shit."
This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said, "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
Kate Middleton's dress has brought tears to the eyes of countless children across the world; as they are forced to work extra hours to make sure the replicas are available in Primark from Monday.
God the RAF are rubbish these days... they didn't even hit one of those Germans on the balcony.
When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne. The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me."
So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The chief then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his arse without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed.
Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The chief soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apparent reason, and was killed.
The two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!"
The second guy answered while still laughing, "I just couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."
My girlfriend and I went out to a restaurant last night, and some of the other diners started calling me a 'paedo' and a 'cradle snatcher.' All because I'm a 52 year old man with a 21 year old girlfriend.
It totally ruined our 10 year anniversary meal.
Putting a pin through all of my best friends condoms seemed like a good idea at the time.
Backfired though when I found out my wife is pregnant.
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."
"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"
A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone.
"Morning!" he said.
The other man replies, "No, just having a shit."
This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention.
The driver got out and he was a dwarf.
He said, "I'm not happy."
I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"
Kate Middleton's dress has brought tears to the eyes of countless children across the world; as they are forced to work extra hours to make sure the replicas are available in Primark from Monday.
God the RAF are rubbish these days... they didn't even hit one of those Germans on the balcony.
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