cancel2 2022
Canceled
A top Hollywood agent was sat in his office one day in the late 1940's. An extremely handsome young man comes into his office and says "Mr Lawrence, I have been told that you are the best actors agent in Hollywood, and as I'm trying to get into movie acting I would like to be represented by you"
With that he handed Mr Lawrence a copy of his resume and sat back. Mr Lawrence read through the resume and on completing this, he said "This history is impeccable, sir; All the correct acting schools, treading the boards both here and in Europe, you can sing & dance also and not to mention doing a season with the RSC. There's only one fly in the ointment as I am sure you're aware, and that is your name."
He continued "Penis Von Lesbian is a most unusual name and I fear you will get precisely nowhere in Hollywood with a name like that, so I will only represent you if you agree to a name change" The aspiring actor says "Penis Von Lesbian is my family name, all the male line are called Penis, it has no sinister or sexual connotations in our native Hungary and the Von Lesbian family name can be traced back over 900 years so I cannot change it. "This debate goes on for no short time, but a stalemate has been reached. The wannabe actor will not drop the name & the agent will not represent him so named. The actor leaves to seek other representation.
Twelve years later, Mr Lawrence the agent, is sitting in his office when a courier messenger arrives and hand delivers a linen envelope with his name written in elegant copperplate on it. He opens the letter which reads: Dear Mr Lawrence, you may or may not remember me, but I asked for your representation as agent twelve years ago. At that time, I refused your advice to change my family name from Penis Von Lesbian to something more suitable for Hollywood. I am writing to tell you that I was wrong Sir. It took me four years to decide this after many refusals of work; but boy, when I changed my name, the work came flooding in. I should have listened to you from the off Sir, and as a token of my appreciation for your foresight, I feel I must owe you some of the good fortune that has come my way since the name change, so please accept the enclosed cheque for $55,000 as a gesture of my gratitude.
Yours Sincerely,
Dick Van Dyke
With that he handed Mr Lawrence a copy of his resume and sat back. Mr Lawrence read through the resume and on completing this, he said "This history is impeccable, sir; All the correct acting schools, treading the boards both here and in Europe, you can sing & dance also and not to mention doing a season with the RSC. There's only one fly in the ointment as I am sure you're aware, and that is your name."
He continued "Penis Von Lesbian is a most unusual name and I fear you will get precisely nowhere in Hollywood with a name like that, so I will only represent you if you agree to a name change" The aspiring actor says "Penis Von Lesbian is my family name, all the male line are called Penis, it has no sinister or sexual connotations in our native Hungary and the Von Lesbian family name can be traced back over 900 years so I cannot change it. "This debate goes on for no short time, but a stalemate has been reached. The wannabe actor will not drop the name & the agent will not represent him so named. The actor leaves to seek other representation.
Twelve years later, Mr Lawrence the agent, is sitting in his office when a courier messenger arrives and hand delivers a linen envelope with his name written in elegant copperplate on it. He opens the letter which reads: Dear Mr Lawrence, you may or may not remember me, but I asked for your representation as agent twelve years ago. At that time, I refused your advice to change my family name from Penis Von Lesbian to something more suitable for Hollywood. I am writing to tell you that I was wrong Sir. It took me four years to decide this after many refusals of work; but boy, when I changed my name, the work came flooding in. I should have listened to you from the off Sir, and as a token of my appreciation for your foresight, I feel I must owe you some of the good fortune that has come my way since the name change, so please accept the enclosed cheque for $55,000 as a gesture of my gratitude.
Yours Sincerely,
Dick Van Dyke
