Legion Troll
A fine upstanding poster
The National Rifle Association’s nrafamily.com website is featuring pro-firearms nursery stories.
Hansel and Gretel Have Guns, written by Amelia Hamilton and posted last week, is accompanied by a picture of the titular siblings lost in the forest, as is traditional, but they’re supplied with rifles.
The story opens with their family bemoaning their lack of food, and deviates from the classic text with the lines: “Fortunately, they had been taught how to use a gun and had been hunting with their parents most of their lives. They knew that, deep in the forest, there were areas that had never been hunted where they may be able to hunt for food. They knew how to keep themselves safe should they find themselves in trouble.”
Not falling foul of the witch in her gingerbread cottage themselves, they instead find other (unarmed) children held prisoner: “The boys directed Hansel to the key that would unlock their cage while Gretel stood at the ready with her firearm just in case, for she was a better shot than her brother.”
Another story published on the site follows a similar theme – Little Red Riding Hood Has A Gun. Red is off to visit grandma, as usual, but when she’s approached by the predatory wolf things unfold rather differently: “As she grew increasingly uncomfortable, she shifted her rifle so that it was in her hands and at the ready. The wolf became frightened and ran away.”
In the NRA re-telling, little old grandma doesn’t fall foul of the salacious beast either. The story doesn’t get as far as the wolf gobbling her up and the usual “what big eyes you’ve got” exchange, it stalls when grandma whips out her scattergun. What a big gun you’ve got.
Author Amelia Hamilton is described on the site as “a lifelong writer and patriot” who is also “a conservative blogger” and author of the Growing Patriots series of children’s books.
The site’s editors write: “Have you ever wondered what fairy tales might sound like if Red Riding Hood, Hansel and Gretel had firearms?”
http://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/mar/24/nra-fairytales-include-firearms