Thank heaven for my retarded jokes

L

Legion

Oderint dum metuant
Farewell-Pheraby2.jpg



A father watched his young daughter as she played in the garden. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature.

Suddenly she stopped and stared at the ground. Her father went over to her to see what had captured her attention.

He noticed she was looking at two insects.

"Daddy, what are those bugs doing?" she asked.

"They’re mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the one on top?", she asked.

"That’s a daddy longlegs," her father informed her.

The little girl thought for a moment. "So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" she asked.

The father laughed, and replied, "No sweetheart. Both of them are daddy longlegs."

The little girl looked puzzled, thought for a moment, then stomped the bugs flat. "We’re not having any of that gay shit in our garden."
 
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An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your neighbor."

The little girl replied, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no heaven or hell, or no life after death?" he smugly smirked.

"Well," she said. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same kind of stuff. A deer excretes little pellets, while a cow excretes a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"

The atheist said, "I have no idea." The little girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, heaven, hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?"

And then she went back to listening to music.
 
Legion said:
Little girls are so much smarter than liberals, aren't they?
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Technically, kids are commies. We love them and civilize them so that they can leave home and launch as something better than commies. I was born a little commie screaming for a tit or a bottle, but my parents house trained and civilized me enough to where I would inevitably evolve to the right.
 
Legion said:
Farewell-Pheraby2.jpg



A father watched his young daughter as she played in the garden. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature.

Suddenly she stopped and stared at the ground. Her father went over to her to see what had captured her attention.

He noticed she was looking at two insects.

"Daddy, what are those bugs doing?" she asked.

"They’re mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the one on top?", she asked.

"That’s a daddy longlegs," her father informed her.

The little girl thought for a moment. "So, the other one is a mommy longlegs?" she asked.

The father laughed, and replied, "No sweetheart. Both of them are daddy longlegs."

The little girl looked puzzled, thought for a moment, then stomped the bugs flat. "We’re not having any of that gay shit in our garden."
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Evmetro said:
Technically, kids are commies. We love them and civilize them so that they can leave home and launch as something better than commies. I was born a little commie screaming for a tit or a bottle, but my parents house trained and civilized me enough to where I would inevitably evolve to the right.
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I think someone needs to keep a close eye on you two ... :awesome:
 
Evmetro said:
Lefties are always keeping an eye on me, as well as my paycheck.
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Of course we lefties are keeping an eye on your paychecks. We need a good laugh when we see a Walmart worker get their paycheck and see them panic when they realise they don't have enough for a loaf of bread.
 
Havana Moon said:
What is wrong with sick jokes, after all you voted for Shrillary, didn't you?
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Nothing wrong with sick jokes. However there is something very wrong with praising pedophiles for abusing little children. Most DECENT people are disgusted with pedophiles abusing children. But you trumptards think it is something funny and perfectly normal. How is trump's very good friend, Jeffrey Epstein , nowadays? You know the convicted pedophile that hosted parties in his NYC apartment with LOTS of drugs, booze and underage girls.
 
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