cawacko
Well-known member
Any women of JPP play golf? If yes, thoughts on this?
A few years ago, I got the idea that taking up golf might enhance my life. I liked the idea of an open-air social sport and the prospect of tackling an untried form of athleticism. I was aware of its reputation as a fiendishly difficult activity, one known to ruin many a fine walk. These rumors are true. What I hadn’t expected was that it would make me think so much about men.
Playing golf has given me a sympathetic glimpse into the world of men, which is laconic and competitive. Praise is delivered sparingly and personal revelations exchanged not at all. There is a comedic trope that two men experiencing private upheaval can play 18 holes together and come away with no idea of what is happening to the other. As a woman, this was strange to me. In my first few months whacking the pill, it felt odd not to discuss intimate details with the people who happened to share my tee time. But, I reasoned, I was the newcomer in their culture, and so I should study them and imitate their ways. When in Rome, etc.
Unfortunately, golf has also forced me to reckon with another aspect of the male psyche: its apparent inability to keep from imparting instruction. I have learned to let the insult of unsolicited advice roll off my back. But men of golf, you don’t make it easy. Many is the time that I have boiled inwardly—and I don’t suppose I am alone in this as a woman—at having some stranger sidle up and inform me that I should choose the 6-hybrid over the 7-iron or put more speed on the ball to fix my lagging putts. Did I ask you, stranger?
I don’t wish to be unfair. I appreciate the gallant impulse to help a newcomer learn a skill. I understand that golf creates a unique circumstance in which people of differing abilities play on the same turf, and that this presents the temptation of proximity that doesn’t arise in, say, tennis. And yet: In the matter of suggestions, I wish that the reticence that is such a feature of the masculine golf game could be extended to those of us who are feminine. If you are a man playing with a woman, and you are not her husband or instructor or some other intimate, I hope you will reconsider telling her unprompted what she’s doing wrong and how she could do it better. You can think it—chances are, she already is—but please, keep it to yourself.
The Fairer Sex on the Fairway
Playing golf, I learned that men are laconic, except when giving unsolicited advice.
A few years ago, I got the idea that taking up golf might enhance my life. I liked the idea of an open-air social sport and the prospect of tackling an untried form of athleticism. I was aware of its reputation as a fiendishly difficult activity, one known to ruin many a fine walk. These rumors are true. What I hadn’t expected was that it would make me think so much about men.
Playing golf has given me a sympathetic glimpse into the world of men, which is laconic and competitive. Praise is delivered sparingly and personal revelations exchanged not at all. There is a comedic trope that two men experiencing private upheaval can play 18 holes together and come away with no idea of what is happening to the other. As a woman, this was strange to me. In my first few months whacking the pill, it felt odd not to discuss intimate details with the people who happened to share my tee time. But, I reasoned, I was the newcomer in their culture, and so I should study them and imitate their ways. When in Rome, etc.
Unfortunately, golf has also forced me to reckon with another aspect of the male psyche: its apparent inability to keep from imparting instruction. I have learned to let the insult of unsolicited advice roll off my back. But men of golf, you don’t make it easy. Many is the time that I have boiled inwardly—and I don’t suppose I am alone in this as a woman—at having some stranger sidle up and inform me that I should choose the 6-hybrid over the 7-iron or put more speed on the ball to fix my lagging putts. Did I ask you, stranger?
I don’t wish to be unfair. I appreciate the gallant impulse to help a newcomer learn a skill. I understand that golf creates a unique circumstance in which people of differing abilities play on the same turf, and that this presents the temptation of proximity that doesn’t arise in, say, tennis. And yet: In the matter of suggestions, I wish that the reticence that is such a feature of the masculine golf game could be extended to those of us who are feminine. If you are a man playing with a woman, and you are not her husband or instructor or some other intimate, I hope you will reconsider telling her unprompted what she’s doing wrong and how she could do it better. You can think it—chances are, she already is—but please, keep it to yourself.
