The Legends of Ron Paul
- Thread starter Epicurus
- Start date
That bet also included Fred Thompson's wife, he did them both at the same time.
Ron Paul and Chuck Norris once walked into a bar together and it exploded because there is no place in the world that can stand that much cool...
Ted Haggard
Verified User
Ron once wanted Larry Craig and I to give him a "golden shower"...but that was a little to freaky even for me. I limit myself to the plain vanilla gay massage.
FUCK THE POLICE
911 EVERY DAY
Ron Paul once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Ron Paul kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to make love to every person in the stadium.
I have seen Ron Paul live and in person. He's about ten feet tall. And the bulge from his pants...
178 ninjas (sent by Julie or the CFR) tried to attack him and he defeated them all.
Then he picked up on so many babes that he threw me some cast offs. Aniston seemed pretty hot to me, but not to Paul.
178 ninjas (sent by Julie or the CFR) tried to attack him and he defeated them all.
Then he picked up on so many babes that he threw me some cast offs. Aniston seemed pretty hot to me, but not to Paul.
blackascoal
The Force is With Me
.. and so the legend of Ron Paul grew and grew .. until one day, the world got a glimpse of him and found that he was a 72 year old frail old man with Alzheimer’s and whose balls had dried up and withered away and whose tiny penis, which hadn't been used in 40 years, had withdrawn into his stomach, leaving him with what appears to be a vagina which made him quite popular with republicans. He later married Rudy Guiliani.
What are you talking about, Ron Paul is as old as time. He created the world in six days, how long do you think it will take him to get our debt under control?
blackascoal
The Force is With Me
I know, him and Zeus.
The frail old thing known as Ron Paul can't even get a bill passed, has never held a leadership position, is considered a joke by his peers, and can't .. oh wait .. I forgot .. this thread is no place for reality.
Ok, when Atlas got tired Ron Paul took the world and put it on his shoulders .. later he married Rudy Guiliani
blackascoal
The Force is With Me
Yes, and when Ronald Reagan birthed Paul from his ass, he went on to slay many dragons .. unfortunately, real republicans found him and nailed his ass to a cross where he hung for 6 years. While Paul hung from the cross he cried out to his father, Reagod, who looked down on him and said .. "Who?", "What?"
Well, that is because congress is filled with the spawn of satan. Except for, your boy, Kucinich who shows respect to Paul and the creator himself.
Did you answer why Kucinch respects him?
blackascoal
The Force is With Me
And then, through the magic of modern scientific medical knowledge, a cloning....
Ron Paul's young twin is born....in the persona of .............
You guessed it......
Obama ....the magnificent.....
Who was quickly killed by African-Americans who said, "He just smelled funny."
blackascoal
The Force is With Me
Kucinich is a nice guy, and like Paul, has been discarded by his own party. They have a few things in common.
FUCK THE POLICE
911 EVERY DAY
Ron Paul's wife (in the center):
Kucinich's wife (hot chick on the right):
Yeah, ton's of simialirities. Odd thing is, I really had to DIG for pictures of Ron Paul's wife, while it was difficult to avoid pictures of Kucinich's.
Kucinich's wife (hot chick on the right):
Yeah, ton's of simialirities. Odd thing is, I really had to DIG for pictures of Ron Paul's wife, while it was difficult to avoid pictures of Kucinich's.
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blackascoal
The Force is With Me
Ron Paul has been with his wife for fifty years. Kuchinich probably just found some hot college liberal bitch who wanted to bang him. It's entirely possible that she is Darla.
This is not a legend, just a positive character statement about the man from a godless delinquent devoid of a sense of morality.
And everyone stop hijacking my thread. We're discussing legends of Ron Paul. Not actual facts about his greatness or propped up scandals that tarnish the idol we have created.
Ron Paul can divide by zero.
C'mon, get real.
You can't "hijack" a thread about made-up delusions of the "exploits" of a frail old man .. and you shouldn't attack Kucinich's wife. No one attacked Paul's wife and I don't think you want to open that door.
I assumed that this is a parody/satire thread and didn't intend to hijack it.
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TheDanold
Unimatrix
HAHAHAH, Post of the Day!Ron Paul has been with his wife for fifty years. Kuchinich probably just found some hot college liberal bitch who wanted to bang him. It's entirely possible that she is Darla.
Toe-Tapper
NYC Mayor
Ron Paul has been with his wife for fifty years. Kuchinich probably just found some hot college liberal bitch who wanted to bang him. It's entirely possible that she is Darla.
This is not a legend, just a positive character statement about the man from a godless delinquent devoid of a sense of morality.
And everyone stop hijacking my thread. We're discussing legends of Ron Paul. Not actual facts about his greatness or propped up scandals that tarnish the idol we have created.
Ron Paul can divide by zero.
"Kuchinich probably just found some hot college liberal bitch who wanted to bang him."
Ahh, I feel for you my conservative brother. I know where you're going with this. Your comment brings to mind that joke:
"A slut is a woman who sleeps with everyone...a bitch is a woman who sleeps with everyone but you"
The lure of the liberal woman is a siren song we conservative men have long been saddled with.
I've traveled the road you have, brother: the smoky libertarian political meetings, attended almost exclusively by men -- Sipping chardonay uncomfortably in the presence of an all-man CATO foundation meeting -- Longing for the warm companionship of educted females in the male-dominated world of conservative and libertarian politics. Walking by those college Sierra Club or Peace Corps meetings, and cursing a liberal ideology that seems to attract most of the educated women -- Hiding our extremist rightwing views in public, in the hopes that a liberal, or even reasonable, hot "bitch" might succumb to our advances -- sitting around your college libertarian meeting wearing your Ron Paul t-shirt, looking at a group of unshaven (and frankly, borderline wierdo) men, wondering how your life came to be completely devoid of stimulating, intellectual female companionship..... I've been there with you, brother.
It's "hard work" as President George W. Bush says.
My advice to you, if you want to get one of those "liberal bitches" to either
sleep with you or date you, is too hide your rightwing extremism very well. I mean, you're not going to meet hardly any hot chicks in libertarian or rightwing circles (unless Man Coulter is your type of "gal"). It works! Look at me! I pretended to be a quasi-liberal mayor of New York for ten years, and I got three wives out of the deal!
Best of luck, my conservative brother.
Cheers,
Rudy
p.s.: If you want to chat up one of the college liberal "bitches", bail on the
talk about flat taxes, and anti-smoking city ordinances. These "bitche's" eyes will roll back in their heads, and they'll go into a coma from boredom. Talk about global climate change. Act like you're interested in it. Talk about the environment; talk about poverty in Africa. Say you're thinking about joining the Peace Corps. And for God's sake, icks-nay on the talk about how defeating "socialism" is your life's goal. It'll make you look like a weirdo
