There's Trouble Brewing Guys

[Mott the Hoople]

I just read a deeply disturbing study (Cap'N Billy you'll be particularly alarmed) about beer.

A study presented at Europe's annual human reproduction conference provided compelling evidence that beer contains female hormones. The evidence was so compelling that they have suggested that men look at their beer drinking habits as the evidence clearly shows that drinking beer turns men into women.

To test this theory they selected 100 men at random and had them consume 6 pints of beer within a one hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men;

* Gained weight.
* Talked incessantly without making sense.
* Became overly emotional.
* Couldn't drive.
* Failed to think rationally.
* Had to urinate sitting down.
* Argued over nothing.
* Couldn't perform sexually.
* Argued over nothing.
* Refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

 

[DamnYankee]

You forgot to mention man boobs.

 

[/MSG/]

It was then observed that 100% of the men;

* Gained weight.I've actually lost weight since I've been drinking more.
* Talked incessantly without making sense.
* Became overly emotional.Other than a profound joy for every living thing, not really
* Couldn't drive.Oh yes I can.
* Failed to think rationally.Eh, sometimes, but it's not that I don't think Rationally. I know what the outcome will be. I just don't care.
* Had to urinate sitting down.Que?
* Argued over nothing.No more so than sober
* Couldn't perform sexually.This is the poor European genes showing. and proves conclusively that the Irish were not included in the test sample. Look up the term 'whiskey dick'.
* Argued over nothing.
* Refused to apologize when wrong.No, if anything I'm more likely to admit error, because I know my reasoning can be flawed at extreme levels of drunkenness.

No further testing is planned.

Once again, this 'test' probably only included the French and Italians, known teetotalers.