Things A Southerner Would Never Say?!!

S

signalmankenneth

Verified User
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Things SMK would never say
#1. Anything negative about Obama
#2. Anything original. EVER
#3. Anything that isn't illustrated by a fucking image.
#4. Anything not found in a damned coloring book.
 
Heineken is terrible beer. The author must be a complete prole to think it's superior to what rednecks drink.
Vegetarianism is retarded and boring.
Greenpeace is a waste of one's charitable givings.
 
Threedee said:
Heineken is terrible beer. The author must be a complete prole to think it's superior to what rednecks drink.
Vegetarianism is retarded and boring.
Greenpeace is a waste of one's charitable givings.
Click to expand...

One day, a man had an idea. If made a beer, put a European name on it, gave it a fancy green bottle, and then filled it with the same cheap piss water peasant in Bud Light, can we charge a slightly higher price for it? Thus, Heineken was born, and he was proved correct. Heineken - for when you're stupid, but also elitist.

Myself, when I want to get drunk, I'll take a bud light, and when I want to get really drunk, I'll take a Steel Reserve. When I want to be a beer snob, I'll get a microbrew, and whenever I don't feel like driving all that way but want to get as close as possible to beer snobbery, I'll buy a Sam Adams, because it was at least a microbrewery at one point and still targets the beer snob crowd even if it is a somewhat succesful corporation now (and thus invalidated on basic Hipster principles).
 
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