Legion Troll
A fine upstanding poster
A man (we'll call him "Tom") was caught in a blood-soaked battle with a massive snake after it slithered up sewer pipes and bit onto his penis as he sat going to the toilet.
"Tom" was squatting over the toilet at his home this morning when he suddenly felt a sharp bite to the tip of his penis.
He immediately grabbed down below with his hand and was horrified to discover he had caught hold of the head of a huge snake that had clamped its jaws around his privates.
"Tom" immediately screamed for his wife and began fighting the serpent - which refused to let go of his member.
The pair were thrashing around the tiny toilet - leaving blood splattered across the floors and walls but just as he feared he could lose his penis, "Tom" hatched an ingenious plan to remove the snake with seconds to spare.
He called out for a rope and just before passing out managed to grab the serpent’s head and tie it to the bathroom door.
"Tom" was hospitalized after suffering huge blood loss and collapsing from the dramatic snake attack during his morning bathroom routine.
Emergency services were then called in to free the massive serpent from pipes under the family home.
Fire crews used hammers to smash the toilet and drag the python, which was still alive, out of the ground according to reports.
It is thought that the snake, which will be released back into the wild, swam up a pipe leading to the bathroom.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/toilet-terror-python-bites-mans-8044766#rlabs=1%20rt$sitewide%20p$3