Universe Conspiring?

Beefy

Beefy

Worst gambler ever
For a long time I used to wonder if the Universe was conspiring against me. When I would go to light a cigarette, the wind would kick up and I'd curse my lighter. Whenever I would get totally drunk, my mom would call with something important and I'd have to hold the phone about a foot from my face in the hopes that the distortion would cover my slurring....

Every time I gamble, I lose!!! Its because the Universe is conspiring against me. I play the cards exactly right, and I still lose every time, it can't be my fault.

Every time I pay a bill, they hold the check so long that I end up spending the money, then get an over draft and get charged even MORE!

That damned universe, it is soooo obvious that its conspiring against me. Thank GOD we have the Government to hedge THAT bet! Can you imagine if we, in the richest country in the world, had to worry about said effects of the UNIVERSE?!?!
 
Beefy said:
For a long time I used to wonder if the Universe was conspiring against me. When I would go to light a cigarette, the wind would kick up and I'd curse my lighter. Whenever I would get totally drunk, my mom would call with something important and I'd have to hold the phone about a foot from my face in the hopes that the distortion would cover my slurring....

Every time I gamble, I lose!!! Its because the Universe is conspiring against me. I play the cards exactly right, and I still lose every time, it can't be my fault.

Every time I pay a bill, they hold the check so long that I end up spending the money, then get an over draft and get charged even MORE!

That damned universe, it is soooo obvious that its conspiring against me. Thank GOD we have the Government to hedge THAT bet! Can you imagine if we, in the richest country in the world, had to worry about said effects of the UNIVERSE?!?!
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LOL. "It can't possibly be me, I play cards perfectly but lose every time! I'm sexy too, but can't get women! And when I cry people beat me up rather than women thinking I'm all sensitive and stuff!"

Go, Beefs! You know you have a hot girlfriend, you live in paradise and will move to another as soon as you can...
 
Beefy said:
For a long time I used to wonder if the Universe was conspiring against me. When I would go to light a cigarette, the wind would kick up and I'd curse my lighter. Whenever I would get totally drunk, my mom would call with something important and I'd have to hold the phone about a foot from my face in the hopes that the distortion would cover my slurring....

Every time I gamble, I lose!!! Its because the Universe is conspiring against me. I play the cards exactly right, and I still lose every time, it can't be my fault.

Every time I pay a bill, they hold the check so long that I end up spending the money, then get an over draft and get charged even MORE!

That damned universe, it is soooo obvious that its conspiring against me. Thank GOD we have the Government to hedge THAT bet! Can you imagine if we, in the richest country in the world, had to worry about said effects of the UNIVERSE?!?!
Click to expand...
Psst, I've read 'the plan' and you ARE the victim.
 
beefy for the record, standard variance can allow a 100k hand breakeven stretch when playing poker. that's for winning players. If you play live a lot, it could seem unending.

Solution? Play online O_O
 
Rounders was hands-down the THE worst poker abomination ever made. It was like a bad, awful joke that was intended to be serious. That movie was a total, utter, indescribable, revolting piece of shit.

Take every cheap cliche from every 2 cent country song, every lame player's fantasy, and the totally unnatural shit that never, ever happens and make a movie out of it and you end up with "Rounders". What a disaster. A fucking mess.

And what a waste of Malcovich. His signature line: "Don't splash ze pot."? ???? Fucking lame. Obviously geared towards the fools, the non circuit players. Its the worst testament to poker ever.

Hands down.
 
it is pretty massively corny, but I wonder if that's because people understand the game a lot more now.

It's still the default holdem movie. You just can't change that. It's the first movie everyone thinks of when you say "holdem movie", not to mention it was a contributing factor to the poker boom.
 
Exoendo said:
it is pretty massively corny, but I wonder if that's because people understand the game a lot more now.

It's still the default holdem movie. You just can't change that. It's the first movie everyone thinks of when you say "holdem movie", not to mention it was a contributing factor to the poker boom.
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I've never watched it. You FAIL.
 
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