Watermark™'s idea for how to deal with China

[FUCK THE POLICE]

You know, in EUIII, one country can approach you and ask that you become their vassal, and you can say yes, and if you do you have to surrender half of your taxes and manpower to their empire, but they also don't attack and destroy you. I suggest we do this. Who is with me?

 

[/MSG/]

I suggest we try to break China up through free spies to incite rebellions.

 

[Liberty]

Where's the choice for just nuking them.

Seems like you of all people would keep mass murder on the table as a choice.

 

[FUCK THE POLICE]

Unfortunately, only areas of relatively low tax value, such as Tibet, are susceptible to nationalist rebellions. Otherwise, the most we can do is fund pretenders, who will just replace the government after a while, weakening them slightly but not breaking them apart.

 

[FUCK THE POLICE]

Where's the choice for just nuking them.

Seems like you of all people would keep mass murder on the table as a choice.

Well, we'd also be nuked. China predicted that at some point we'd probably hold nuking them over their head, much like we have with other nukeless nations many many time in the past to force our opinion through, and in response developed mucho nuko, which essentially renders such a threat meaningless, unless the person making the threat is seriously suicidal. So, it wouldn't matter much unless we could seriously convince the Chinese that we have no regard for our own lives. Anyone have any ideas as to how we can accomplish this?

 

[Liberty]

Well, we'd also be nuked. China predicted that at some point we'd probably hold nuking them over their head, much like we have with other nukeless nations many many time in the past to force our opinion through, and in response developed mucho nuko, which essentially renders such a threat meaningless, unless the person making the threat is seriously suicidal. So, it wouldn't matter much unless we could seriously convince the Chinese that we have no regard for our own lives. Anyone have any ideas as to how we can accomplish this?

I would agree with you, but that's not the point.

If we have the nukes, it should be one of the choices. At least I think so.

And who's to say they are so strong.

There's only one way to find out.

 

[/MSG/]

Unfortunately, only areas of relatively low tax value, such as Tibet, are susceptible to nationalist rebellions. Otherwise, the most we can do is fund pretenders, who will just replace the government after a while, weakening them slightly but not breaking them apart.

The eastern provinces have to have low tax value, they're not very livable. I say we fund nationalists AND pretenders.

 

[Liberty]

The eastern provinces have to have low tax value, they're not very livable. I say we fund nationalists AND pretenders.

I voted for you dude.

 

[/MSG/]

What if we set up a royal marriage? I mean, that'd work out well. Might even start a succession crisis and give us cause to gain some territory.

 

[FUCK THE POLICE]

What if we set up a royal marriage? I mean, that'd work out well. Might even start a succession crisis and give us cause to gain some territory.

Unfortunately, we're republics, not monarchies. So we can't have a royal marriage. Royal marriages do have a sweet bonus to yearly relations, though, which is why I think we should switch back to monarchy. And force China to do so as well. Then we wouldn't even have to become vassals, because they'd just love us so much for selling off our whorish daughters to them.

 

[Minister of Truth]

We can get people of nobility, who are planning to arrive and become citizens, but opt to keep their titles instead, with the promise that their decendents can become citizens here.

 

[Mott the Hoople]

Have any of you idiots ever been to China?

 

[/MSG/]

Mott, do not discuss what you cannot understand. Being from Ohio, I'd imagine that list rather large.

 

[charver]

Unfortunately, we're republics, not monarchies. So we can't have a royal marriage. Royal marriages do have a sweet bonus to yearly relations, though, which is why I think we should switch back to monarchy. And force China to do so as well. Then we wouldn't even have to become vassals, because they'd just love us so much for selling off our whorish daughters to them.

Psssst....wanna buy a cheap Princess guv'nor?

To the general public i'd be asking a monkey but for a discerning gent like you, looking for a quick and easy monarchy, she's yours for a pony.

 

[Guns Guns Guns]

Psssst....wanna buy a cheap Princess guv'nor?

To the general public i'd be asking a monkey but for a discerning gent like you, looking for a quick and easy monarchy, she's yours for a pony.

I'll give you a fiver.

 

[charver]

I'll give you a fiver.

Done!

She simply loves carrots and can plough up to an acre a day. You, sir, have a bargain.

 

[Minister of Truth]

I wish I had me a lingerie model who could plough like that.

 

[Guns Guns Guns]

I wish I had me a lingerie model who could plough like that.

 

[FUCK THE POLICE]

Psssst....wanna buy a cheap Princess guv'nor?

To the general public i'd be asking a monkey but for a discerning gent like you, looking for a quick and easy monarchy, she's yours for a pony.

We already have a deal lined up with Sweden for this girl:

She has a certain, how do you say? "Hotness" that your princess lacks. I mean, seriously, Swedish girls vs. British girls? LOL. Don't set yourself up for a fight your bound to lose.

 

[/MSG/]

We already have a deal lined up with Sweden for this girl:

She has a certain, how do you say? "Hotness" that your princess lacks. I mean, seriously, Swedish girls vs. British girls? LOL. Don't set yourself up for a fight your bound to lose.

I'll take the Saudi princess EVERY day of week.