Weird animal attacks

[MAGA MAN]

1. An acquaintance of mine was visiting Florida, staying near a golf course. This guy is 59, but in good physical shape, routinely jogs around the neighborhood here, which is quite hilly. He was walking along a path and noticed a large alligator in the pond about 50 feet away. Suddenly the animal charged him. He ran up a hill then sprinted about 100 yards to get away, and pulled a muscle in his leg. He hasn't been able to run in ten months.

2. This is a story relayed to me from a friend in Texas. His friend found a rattle snake on his property while cutting weeds and so chopped its head off with a machete. He picked up the severed head and it promptly bit him, nearly killed him with a full venom shot.

 

[Irish Exit]

I have heard of that happening with snakes.

My weird story is when I was about 8 or so, me and my brother were walking along minding our little kid businesses when a freaking rooster came down from god knows where clawing the living shit out of me. Landed and dug right into my scalp. Then in the struggle my face, arms, hands, shoulders got ripped up. I survived albeit it very bloody. The rooster did not albeit very bloody. Thank god my brother was there because I couldn't get the thing off me. It was in full-bore attack mode against me for some reason.

 

[Mott the Hoople]

1. An acquaintance of mine was visiting Florida, staying near a golf course. This guy is 59, but in good physical shape, routinely jogs around the neighborhood here, which is quite hilly. He was walking along a path and noticed a large alligator in the pond about 50 feet away. Suddenly the animal charged him. He ran up a hill then sprinted about 100 yards to get away, and pulled a muscle in his leg. He hasn't been able to run in ten months.

2. This is a story relayed to me from a friend in Texas. His friend found a rattle snake on his property while cutting weeds and so chopped its head off with a machete. He picked up the severed head and it promptly bit him, nearly killed him with a full venom shot.

Any animal with a primitive non mylenated nervous system can bite well after it’s dead.

 

[Mott the Hoople]

I have heard of that happening with snakes.

My weird story is when I was about 8 or so, me and my brother were walking along minding our little kid businesses when a freaking rooster came down from god knows where clawing the living shit out of me. Landed and dug right into my scalp. Then in the struggle my face, arms, hands, shoulders got ripped up. I survived albeit it very bloody. The rooster did not albeit very bloody. Thank god my brother was there because I couldn't get the thing off me. It was in full-bore attack mode against me for some reason.

My weird animal story is I shot a deer on a drive that was running straight towards me. I hit him right in the chest with a 12 gauge deer slug and he ran for a full hundred yards before falling dead. When we went to dress him we discovered the shot gun blast had completely obliterated his heart. He ran full tilt for 100 yards without a heart.

 

[Irish Exit]

My weird animal story is I shot a deer on a drive that was running straight towards me. I hit him right in the chest with a 12 gauge deer slug and he ran for a full hundred yards before falling dead. When we went to dress him we discovered the shot gun blast had completely obliterated his heart. He ran full tilt for 100 yards without a heart.

I have had a few act like they were going to charge me but never one that actually did. It seems like the more their are, the more likely one will want to challenge me (they hang out on my property all the time. There is a 4-pointer that right now I can get within about 30 feet of before he scurries off. He is camped in my mulberry grove as food rains down from heaven on him right now in there.)

 

[ThatOwlWoman]

I have heard of that happening with snakes.

My weird story is when I was about 8 or so, me and my brother were walking along minding our little kid businesses when a freaking rooster came down from god knows where clawing the living shit out of me. Landed and dug right into my scalp. Then in the struggle my face, arms, hands, shoulders got ripped up. I survived albeit it very bloody. The rooster did not albeit very bloody. Thank god my brother was there because I couldn't get the thing off me. It was in full-bore attack mode against me for some reason.

Roosters are a lot like little men with huge pouches of testosterone telling them to kill kill kill. lol

Funny -- kind of -- rooster story. Went to visit husband's cousin or 3rd-degree-sister or some such when my son (now 43) was 3 yrs. old. They lived in a trailer and had a small farm, some outbuildings, and some chickens. The boys went out to inspect the Lord's holdings. The Lady warned them not to let the young lad get close to the chicken house because "you know, that damn bird." So me and the Lady of the Estate were inside the Manor playing with my infant daughter and chatting, when horrible screams arose. We rushed out in time to see my little boy fleeing from the barn with a rooster firmly attached to his little head, trying to peck his eyes out, and digging his talons in. The Lady grabbed the broom she kept close to the traile... um, Manor stairs, swung like a Major League Baseball batter, and knocked that damn rooster into far left field. It ended up okay except for the part where to this day my son hates birds. lol

 

[ThatOwlWoman]

My weird animal story is I shot a deer on a drive that was running straight towards me. I hit him right in the chest with a 12 gauge deer slug and he ran for a full hundred yards before falling dead. When we went to dress him we discovered the shot gun blast had completely obliterated his heart. He ran full tilt for 100 yards without a heart.

Damn.

 

[Irish Exit]

Roosters are a lot like little men with huge pouches of testosterone telling them to kill kill kill. lol

Funny -- kind of -- rooster story. Went to visit husband's cousin or 3rd-degree-sister or some such when my son (now 43) was 3 yrs. old. They lived in a trailer and had a small farm, some outbuildings, and some chickens. The boys went out to inspect the Lord's holdings. The Lady warned them not to let the young lad get close to the chicken house because "you know, that damn bird." So me and the Lady of the Estate were inside the Manor playing with my infant daughter and chatting, when horrible screams arose. We rushed out in time to see my little boy fleeing from the barn with a rooster firmly attached to his little head, trying to peck his eyes out, and digging his talons in. The Lady grabbed the broom she kept close to the traile... um, Manor stairs, swung like a Major League Baseball batter, and knocked that damn rooster into far left field. It ended up okay except for the part where to this day my son hates birds. lol

Oh I hate chickens to this day as well. It didn't help that I was freakishly skinny for my age up until about 14 or 15, like zero body fat and not much more muscle skinny. A Do-Gooder teacher caused all kinds of havoc about the same time when she decided i was being neglected and abused because of my size and once she decided that and social workers got involved, there was no convincing them I was just freaking skinny. I could eat until I was ready to puke and I just could not put on weight or muscle. My pediatrician since practically birth told them they were full of crap and that I had always been that way since being born premature but they just would not let it go.

 

[ThatOwlWoman]

Oh I hate chickens to this day as well. It didn't help that I was freakishly skinny for my age up until about 14 or 15, like zero body fat and not much more muscle skinny. A Do-Gooder teacher caused all kinds of havoc about the same time when she decided i was being neglected and abused because of my size and once she decided that and social workers got involved, there was no convincing them I was just freaking skinny. I could eat until I was ready to puke and I just could not put on weight or muscle. My pediatrician since practically birth told them they were full of crap and that I had always been that way since being born premature but they just would not let it go.

WTF. I have 9 grand-kids. All of my grand-boys and two of my grand-girls inherited my family's genetic skinny, low body fat, long thin musculature, small bone structure, very slight build.Their mom was accused of starving them as well. My Mom told me once that ppl used to approach her in public and ask her if I was an adopted "war orphan." lol My grand-babies have had to endure insults as well for being so thin. And to top this all off -- Was chatting with my remaining brother, who is 75, the other day. He said that he had issues with our dad for calling him "skinny" when he was a kid.

How fucking weird that being slender is seen as a negative in our obese culture, eh?

 

[Irish Exit]

WTF. I have 9 grand-kids. All of my grand-boys and two of my grand-girls inherited my family's genetic skinny, low body fat, long thin musculature, small bone structure, very slight build.Their mom was accused of starving them as well. My Mom told me once that ppl used to approach her in public and ask her if I was an adopted "war orphan." lol My grand-babies have had to endure insults as well for being so thin. And to top this all off -- Was chatting with my remaining brother, who is 75, the other day. He said that he had issues with our dad for calling him "skinny" when he was a kid.

How fucking weird that being slender is seen as a negative in our obese culture, eh?

I don't know. Me and one of my brothers were rails, and most of the rest of my family was a little overweight so clearly it wasn't lack of access to food. They even sent me to an independent doctor acting like mine was in cahoots with my parents in whatever grand conspiracy they had going on in their heads who tested me for parasites among other things (recall that because that was the first I had ever heard of tapeworms.) He couldn't find a single thing wrong with me. Once the social work people decided there was nothing going on, my teacher tried starting trouble again saying crap to me about how she was going to prove she was right and she was going to catch us covering up this neglect and abuse at which point my parents who were more than a little annoyed already went ballistic to the point they forced them to switch me to a completely different school to avoid the shitstorm they were sending back in their and her direction.

 

[Mott the Hoople]

I have had a few act like they were going to charge me but never one that actually did. It seems like the more their are, the more likely one will want to challenge me (they hang out on my property all the time. There is a 4-pointer that right now I can get within about 30 feet of before he scurries off. He is camped in my mulberry grove as food rains down from heaven on him right now in there.)

Be careful dude. During the rut the most certainly will charge you and the can cut you to pieces with their antlers and hooves.

 

[Minister of Truth]

Be careful dude. During the rut the most certainly will charge you and the can cut you to pieces with their antlers and hooves.

Have you ever been attacked by a jilted sheep?

 

[Mott the Hoople]

Oh I hate chickens to this day as well. It didn't help that I was freakishly skinny for my age up until about 14 or 15, like zero body fat and not much more muscle skinny. A Do-Gooder teacher caused all kinds of havoc about the same time when she decided i was being neglected and abused because of my size and once she decided that and social workers got involved, there was no convincing them I was just freaking skinny. I could eat until I was ready to puke and I just could not put on weight or muscle. My pediatrician since practically birth told them they were full of crap and that I had always been that way since being born premature but they just would not let it go.

I was visiting a lady friend one time when a cop and a social worker showed up and demanded to be let inside her home. Apparently an aquantance with an axe to grind had called the police and told them she was physically abusing her child. I told her “for God’s sakes don’t even think of letting someone with a Mickey Mouse pseudoscience degree into your home. They’re not adequately educated to make professional judgments. Call a lawyer”.

The social workers eyes went as big as silver dollars, her jaw dropped wide open and she tuned beat red in the face. The cop was doing everything he could to keep from laughing.

My friend said. “Wait outside. I’m calling my lawyer.” Which she did. The social worker then said to me in freezing tones “I’ll have you know im a LSW with a Masters Degree in Sociology.”.

To which I replied “yeah well I have a Masters in a real science. To bad you didn’t have the talent and discipline to study one.” To which she said to me. “You’re an asshole. We’re here to make sure a child is safe.”.

I said “I understand that but she’d be insane to let you in her home without speaking to a lawyer first.” I tell you that was one pissed off woman.

When the lawyer arrived I took off but my friend later told me that the lawyer she called had said not letting the cop and social worker in her home and calling her was the right thing to do and that many a parent had ended up in kangaroo court fighting for the custody of their own kids cause some ditsy social worker on a crusade thought they were abusing their kids.

 

[Mott the Hoople]

Have you ever been attacked by a jilted sheep?

Who hasn’t? There’s a reason they’re called rams.

 

[Mott the Hoople]

Oh I hate chickens to this day as well. It didn't help that I was freakishly skinny for my age up until about 14 or 15, like zero body fat and not much more muscle skinny. A Do-Gooder teacher caused all kinds of havoc about the same time when she decided i was being neglected and abused because of my size and once she decided that and social workers got involved, there was no convincing them I was just freaking skinny. I could eat until I was ready to puke and I just could not put on weight or muscle. My pediatrician since practically birth told them they were full of crap and that I had always been that way since being born premature but they just would not let it go.

I find it funny people freak out by getting attacked by a rooster. Just reach down and snatch them up by the neck. If they keep trying to spur you reach over with your other hand and twist their head till their neck snaps then have Coq Au Vin for dinner.

 

[MAGA MAN]

I have heard of that happening with snakes.

My weird story is when I was about 8 or so, me and my brother were walking along minding our little kid businesses when a freaking rooster came down from god knows where clawing the living shit out of me. Landed and dug right into my scalp. Then in the struggle my face, arms, hands, shoulders got ripped up. I survived albeit it very bloody. The rooster did not albeit very bloody. Thank god my brother was there because I couldn't get the thing off me. It was in full-bore attack mode against me for some reason.

Bad Karma.

I was inspecting a property one time, early spring, and the place wasn't kept up. I saw something out of the corner of my eye, turned and this wasp came from the ground in a bee-line right to my face. I swatted at it but it partially stung me. My face was part paralyzed for two weeks.

 

[MAGA MAN]

My weird animal story is I shot a deer on a drive that was running straight towards me. I hit him right in the chest with a 12 gauge deer slug and he ran for a full hundred yards before falling dead. When we went to dress him we discovered the shot gun blast had completely obliterated his heart. He ran full tilt for 100 yards without a heart.

Dude, I've lived almost my entire life without one of those.

 

[Irish Exit]

I find it funny people freak out by getting attacked by a rooster. Just reach down and snatch them up by the neck. If they keep trying to spur you reach over with your other hand and twist their head till their neck snaps then have Coq Au Vin for dinner.

Thing was clawed into my head. There was no reaching down