Excerpted:
”Why Do Conservatives Like Larry Craig Seem So Gay?”
In Minneapolis one doesn't actually have to proposition someone to have sex in a bathroom to be arrested, one just has to give off certain signals that can be decoded according to a gay handbook the police have apparently obtained.
Of course, seeming to be gay is not the same as actually being gay, despite what the Minneapolis police department believes. In fact, the more one looks at the evidence that Craig seems to be gay, the more one can see that it is really just evidence of being conservative. There are many attributes of conservatism that seem really gay and unfortunately the more we deny that we are gay, the gayer we seem. This incident should put a chill in every conservative who has a "wide stance" or belongs to a barbershop quartet.
Unfortunately, many conservatives are awkward and shy around women, which just fuels rumors that they are gay.
And no matter how many times Joe-Conservative tells us that he turned his back on his gay brother who died of AIDS or that he can't stop thinking about how homosexual acts disgust him whenever he sees Barney Frank on television, there are still people who will say that maybe he protests too much. It is a Catch-22 situation that many conservatives sadly get caught in.
A lot of conservatives got picked on as children because they seemed "a little different." I don't know what kind of childhoods William Kristol, Jonah Goldberg, Tucker Carlson, Newt Gingrich, and John Podhoretz had but I'm sure they got made fun of a lot by the other kids because kids can be cruel. Luckily, they all have very strong mothers who protected them. But being "a little different" or being close to one's mother does not make someone gay.
You might think that with all the things conservatives say that seem really gay, but aren't, we would all be more sympathetic to Craig's plight. When conservatives gush about how macho Fred Thompson and President Bush are, we do sound a little bit like Village People fans. Some people could mistakenly view conservatives' passion for the bulging, oiled-up muscles on display in the movie 300 as homoerotic instead of merely intellectual admiration for the allegorical parallels with the War in Iraq.
But I think my fellow conservatives should not be too quick to turn on Craig. If everyone who just seems gay is drummed out of the Republican party or the conservative movement anyone could be next. Every effete mama's boy with precise speech patterns, every hawk with a physical inability to perform military service, every unmarried man with an awkwardness around women, every admirer of Fred Thompson and President Bush who gushes over how manly they are, every aging adolescent fan of comic books, Star Trek, World of Warcraft, Star Wars action figures and the movie 300 will come under suspicion. If we start going after every conservative who seems kind of gay, the only conservatives left will be Fred Thompson, President Bush and Rudolph Giuliani. Well, maybe not Giuliani.
http://jonswift.blogspot.com/2007/08/why-do-conservatives-like-larry-craig.html
”Why Do Conservatives Like Larry Craig Seem So Gay?”
In Minneapolis one doesn't actually have to proposition someone to have sex in a bathroom to be arrested, one just has to give off certain signals that can be decoded according to a gay handbook the police have apparently obtained.
Of course, seeming to be gay is not the same as actually being gay, despite what the Minneapolis police department believes. In fact, the more one looks at the evidence that Craig seems to be gay, the more one can see that it is really just evidence of being conservative. There are many attributes of conservatism that seem really gay and unfortunately the more we deny that we are gay, the gayer we seem. This incident should put a chill in every conservative who has a "wide stance" or belongs to a barbershop quartet.
Unfortunately, many conservatives are awkward and shy around women, which just fuels rumors that they are gay.
And no matter how many times Joe-Conservative tells us that he turned his back on his gay brother who died of AIDS or that he can't stop thinking about how homosexual acts disgust him whenever he sees Barney Frank on television, there are still people who will say that maybe he protests too much. It is a Catch-22 situation that many conservatives sadly get caught in.
A lot of conservatives got picked on as children because they seemed "a little different." I don't know what kind of childhoods William Kristol, Jonah Goldberg, Tucker Carlson, Newt Gingrich, and John Podhoretz had but I'm sure they got made fun of a lot by the other kids because kids can be cruel. Luckily, they all have very strong mothers who protected them. But being "a little different" or being close to one's mother does not make someone gay.
You might think that with all the things conservatives say that seem really gay, but aren't, we would all be more sympathetic to Craig's plight. When conservatives gush about how macho Fred Thompson and President Bush are, we do sound a little bit like Village People fans. Some people could mistakenly view conservatives' passion for the bulging, oiled-up muscles on display in the movie 300 as homoerotic instead of merely intellectual admiration for the allegorical parallels with the War in Iraq.
But I think my fellow conservatives should not be too quick to turn on Craig. If everyone who just seems gay is drummed out of the Republican party or the conservative movement anyone could be next. Every effete mama's boy with precise speech patterns, every hawk with a physical inability to perform military service, every unmarried man with an awkwardness around women, every admirer of Fred Thompson and President Bush who gushes over how manly they are, every aging adolescent fan of comic books, Star Trek, World of Warcraft, Star Wars action figures and the movie 300 will come under suspicion. If we start going after every conservative who seems kind of gay, the only conservatives left will be Fred Thompson, President Bush and Rudolph Giuliani. Well, maybe not Giuliani.
http://jonswift.blogspot.com/2007/08/why-do-conservatives-like-larry-craig.html
