Nomad
Every trumper is a N4T.
Imagine, if you will, a man so sycophantic, so pitifully eager to please his master, that he willingly pulls down America’s digital defenses and rolls out the red carpet for Russian hackers. That man is Pete Hegseth, Trump’s Secretary of Defense, and his recent order to cease all offensive cyber operations against Russia is the geopolitical equivalent of a bank manager telling the robbers, “Look, I’ll open the vault, but you have to promise not to take everything.”
Yes, Pete Hegseth—decorated veteran, Fox News bobblehead, and now, the grinning lapdog of America’s most overtly compromised president—has decided that now, now, is the perfect time to stop fighting back against Russian cyber threats. Because why should the world’s most powerful country bother keeping its digital guard up when we can just trust Putin to play nice? After all, that strategy worked out so well for Ukraine.
The official excuse from Trump’s lackeys? A “temporary” pause in U.S. Cyber Command’s operations to “encourage peace talks” with Russia. You read that right. Trump’s team, in its infinite, Xanax-laced wisdom, believes that if we just stop monitoring Russian hackers, stop fighting back against ransomware attacks on American hospitals, and stop exposing Putin’s digital sabotage, he’ll suddenly become reasonable.
The sheer stupidity of it all is staggering. The same administration that once squealed about election interference and “deep state” sabotage is now sitting back as Putin and his merry band of cybercriminals continue to rip through American networks like seagulls at a beachside french fry stand.
WHEN WEAKNESS MEETS CRONYISM
Sources inside the Pentagon report that the real reason for this decision has less to do with “diplomacy” and more to do with raw, uncut cowardice. Trump, who remains as useful to Putin as a Swiss bank account with no oversight, has surrounded himself with yes-men so desperate for relevance that they’d willingly let Moscow wiretap their mothers’ nursing homes if it meant staying in the administration.
Hegseth, in particular, is proving himself to be a historical embarrassment. Here is a man who once strutted around cable news spitting red-faced platitudes about “American strength,” only to fold like a cheap lawn chair the moment his boss needed a favor for his Kremlin overlords. Even Marco Rubio—a man whose spine has been missing since 2016—was forced to stammer out some weak justification for why America is suddenly helping Russia clean up its global image.
And let’s not forget the timing of this cyber surrender. Just as Trump was humiliating himself in a closed-door Oval Office meeting with Zelensky, begging him to “make peace” like a two-bit mob boss trying to smooth over a botched hit, Hegseth was busy kneecapping America’s cyber defenses behind the scenes.
THE LAPDOG STATE DEPARTMENT
Over at the State Department, Liesyl Franz—another well-trained Trump loyalist—stood in front of the United Nations and failed to mention Russia as a cybersecurity threat at all. Instead, she rattled off a list of America’s other enemies—China, Iran, North Korea—while pretending that Moscow is just a misunderstood friend in need of a warm hug and a White House tour.
Franz’s performance was so laughable that even U.K. and EU representatives had to politely step in to remind the world that yes, Russia is still the largest single threat to global cybersecurity. But this is what America is now: a simpering sidekick to an autocrat whose entire military doctrine relies on hacking elections, crippling infrastructure, and turning the internet into a propaganda sewer.
And the cherry on top? The Trump administration also decided to reassign election security officials at CISA, effectively gutting the agency responsible for preventing foreign interference in U.S. elections. If you can’t win fair, you make sure the refs are blindfolded.
THE ROAD TO HUMILIATION
Let’s be clear: The U.S. has never officially rolled over for Russia like this before. Even under Reagan, the GOP at least pretended to hate Moscow. But now? Trump’s band of fools has decided that the best way to deal with cyberattacks is to pretend they don’t exist.
Meanwhile, Russian ransomware groups are still attacking U.S. hospitals. Russian intelligence is still interfering in global elections. Russian operatives are still sabotaging European infrastructure. And yet, under Trump, the official policy is to do absolutely nothing about it.
And Pete Hegseth, the man who once beat his chest about being a warrior for American values, is now the historical footnote who oversaw the complete submission of U.S. cyber policy to the Kremlin.
If there is any justice left in this world, Hegseth’s name will become synonymous with cowardice. His tenure will be remembered as the moment America willingly handed over its digital security to Putin and called it “diplomacy.”
Even his own mother, if she has a shred of dignity left, should disown him for what he’s done.
A MOTHER'S LOVE, A NATIONAL DISGRACE
But let’s be honest—she won’t.
No, you know she will be making the rounds on Fox News, shaking her head in motherly disappointment at all the "nasty, unfair" attacks on her baby boy. She’ll be wedged between Greg Gutfeld’s half-drunk monologue and a segment about how electric cars are a communist plot, dutifully reciting the same script she’s been using since Pete first humiliated himself in public.
"My son is a great patriot," she’ll declare, her voice trembling with the same kind of blind devotion that allows mothers to defend their children even after they’ve been caught stuffing fireworks up a frog’s backside. "He loves this country. He would never do anything to harm it. This is just another example of the radical left trying to destroy good, Christian men who stand up for America."
But no amount of maternal gaslighting will change the reality of what Pete has done. The man just neutered U.S. cyber operations against Russia, and his own colleagues are leaking stories faster than a Trump lawyer in a classified document case.
Even among Trump’s current rogues’ gallery of incompetent stooges, Hegseth stands out for the sheer spinelessness of his betrayal. And yet, in living rooms across America, Republican grandmothers will nod along, whispering “Bless her heart” as Pete’s mother insists that her son is the real victim here—not the U.S. hospitals being hacked by Russian ransomware gangs, not the American cities having their infrastructure compromised, not the entire electoral system being left wide open for interference.
No, Pete is the real victim, because people are being mean to him on the internet.
If this follows the usual script, Trump himself might even throw her a bone—maybe a quick Truth Social post like, “Pete is a great patriot! His mother is a wonderful woman, very nice, very strong. These nasty people attacking him are just jealous!!! SAD!!!” And then, by Friday, some deranged MAGA influencer will be selling "Pete’s Mom Was Right" T-shirts next to their "Let's Go Brandon" tote bags.
Meanwhile, in Moscow, the FSB will be cracking open a fresh bottle of vodka, toasting Pete Hegseth’s name, and laughing their asses off at how easy it was to get America to disarm itself in cyberspace.
And if Pete’s mother had an ounce of self-awareness left, she wouldn’t be on TV defending him.
She’d be on a Greyhound bus out of town, wearing sunglasses, and pretending she’s never heard of the man.
