cancel2 2022
Canceled
If you call a tap a faucet in the US, why is it called tap water and not faucet water??
by Mouthfrog • Features, General, Health, Life, Worthy News
Pawtucket, RI - Another silly kid with too much fucking hope and optimism has struck again. Emmy Watson, 10, discovered tap water for the first time this past week. Now she’s drinking water right from the faucet and has those around her petrified for her health and safety.
“We tried to shield her from that terrible tap water as long as we could,” says Emmy’s Mom. “She’s a precocious little girl. She’s already a vegetarian and gives us regular speeches on how barbaric we are for eating chickens and cattle. Now this. We’ve told her up to this point that the water that comes out of there is genetically manufactured to only wash dishes. She’s obviously been seeking out some other sources to find out if this was true. Yesterday, she woke up earlier than the rest of the family, pulled out a glass, and poured herself a cup of tap water. She now claims that it tastes better than the Evian water that I buy for the family to drink. How fucking ridiculous is that? Her diatribes now consist of how we are contributing to wasteful water habits that will impact our society negatively in the coming years. Plastic is not good for the environment, she says. Third world children don’t even have the luxury of clean tap water. The fluoride in tap water will help our teeth. Jesus, I did not expect a 10 year old kid to be this much work. My husband and I have already sought counseling. We shouldn’t feel this bad in our own home. Isn’t it the kid that’s supposed to be miserable and seeking counseling?”
Unfortunately for the Watson’s, there is no current child divorce program that is legal in this country. They are frustrated. And rightly so. As Dad commented, “If she was smoking dope or torturing the cat there are programs to help parents with that kind of stuff. We could throw her into rehab or a detention center. But for this kind of shit, there’s nothing. We just have to suffer until she’s old enough to kick her out of the house so she can go make other people feel miserable about themselves. It’s really not very fair.”
We feel for the Watson’s and families suffering the same kind of child optimism. They believe they can change the world but they can’t. They’re just stupid kids with dreams so big that they don’t even notice the snot dripping out of their noses. When you’re 30 years old Emmy Watson, shattered and broken, just hope that your parents haven’t moved to Bali already. You’re going to need their support.
http://www.mouthfrog.com/features/y...ap-water-and-asks-why-dont-we-just-drink-this
by Mouthfrog • Features, General, Health, Life, Worthy News
Pawtucket, RI - Another silly kid with too much fucking hope and optimism has struck again. Emmy Watson, 10, discovered tap water for the first time this past week. Now she’s drinking water right from the faucet and has those around her petrified for her health and safety.
“We tried to shield her from that terrible tap water as long as we could,” says Emmy’s Mom. “She’s a precocious little girl. She’s already a vegetarian and gives us regular speeches on how barbaric we are for eating chickens and cattle. Now this. We’ve told her up to this point that the water that comes out of there is genetically manufactured to only wash dishes. She’s obviously been seeking out some other sources to find out if this was true. Yesterday, she woke up earlier than the rest of the family, pulled out a glass, and poured herself a cup of tap water. She now claims that it tastes better than the Evian water that I buy for the family to drink. How fucking ridiculous is that? Her diatribes now consist of how we are contributing to wasteful water habits that will impact our society negatively in the coming years. Plastic is not good for the environment, she says. Third world children don’t even have the luxury of clean tap water. The fluoride in tap water will help our teeth. Jesus, I did not expect a 10 year old kid to be this much work. My husband and I have already sought counseling. We shouldn’t feel this bad in our own home. Isn’t it the kid that’s supposed to be miserable and seeking counseling?”
Unfortunately for the Watson’s, there is no current child divorce program that is legal in this country. They are frustrated. And rightly so. As Dad commented, “If she was smoking dope or torturing the cat there are programs to help parents with that kind of stuff. We could throw her into rehab or a detention center. But for this kind of shit, there’s nothing. We just have to suffer until she’s old enough to kick her out of the house so she can go make other people feel miserable about themselves. It’s really not very fair.”
We feel for the Watson’s and families suffering the same kind of child optimism. They believe they can change the world but they can’t. They’re just stupid kids with dreams so big that they don’t even notice the snot dripping out of their noses. When you’re 30 years old Emmy Watson, shattered and broken, just hope that your parents haven’t moved to Bali already. You’re going to need their support.
http://www.mouthfrog.com/features/y...ap-water-and-asks-why-dont-we-just-drink-this
